Tag Archives: Sara Borgstede

{Day 1} 31 Tricks To Scare Away The Grief Monster – CHOOSE

Welcome to 31 Tricks to Scare Away The Grief Monster. This series is part of the Write31Day challenge which is held every October. As revenge for writing this series, the grief monster decided to mess with the formatting of the second half of this post. I will not let him prevent me from doing this series. I choose to write on.

Today’s “Trick” 

Choose

Scripture Meditation

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14

When your spouse, or other loved one, moves to heaven you have 2 options:

  1. Stay Stuck In The Muck
  2. Move Forward With Your Life

You need to choose which option and your choice will impact the quality of your life.

Door #1

The first option is the one the Grief Monster wants you to pick. He loves it when people stay stuck. Staying stuck means you do not progress any further in your grief than Day 1. You choose to feel the intense pain and shock of Day 1 for the rest of your life. You go through a lot of mascara because it keeps running down your face when you cry all the time.

Door #2

The second option makes the Grief Monster cower in fear. He does not want you moving forward with life. By moving forward I mean doing the work to determine what life looks like without your loved one.

Some questions you will ask are:

  • Do I do the things I did before you became a couple?
  • Do I continue with the same things we enjoyed as a couple?
  • Do I develop new interests?

Choosing to move forward means you still grieve, but you work through your grief. Your time line did not end just because your husband’s did.

CHOOSE_IS

Choose to move forward in honor of him, knowing he is in your heart forever.  

Meditation

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Walter Anderson

Today’s Resource

I will periodically share resources with you throughout this series. Here is today’s resource:
My-Hope-Toolbox-website-683x1024
Sara Borgstede has put together My Hope Toolbox: Practical Help for Depression and Sadness. I have my copy and plan to use it to help with the frustration and sadness of job searching. This kit will work, as long as you choose to use it. Click on the picture in this post, or in the sidebar to purchase for $4.
I am a member of Sara’s Faithful Finish Lines program and have been since November 2014. She’s done a wonderful job building a community of women who support and encourage one another on their faith and fitness journey, that is how I know My Hope Toolbox will work.  Read more about Sarah here.  (Disclaimer: The link is an affiliate link and I will receive compensation for any purchases.)
My Prayer
It is my prayer that you choose to work through your grief. If you are not grieving but know someone who is, encourage them to deal with their grief.
Dealing with the grief monster is not easy and quite painful at times. Choosing to move forward with life tells the grief monster you value life too much to stay stuck in the muck.
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© Award-Winner of JoyReturns.com. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of her photography at OgleOhio.com.

The “Tour de Parks”

_spitting_duck

Monument Park, Canton, OH

I am still a part of the Faithful Finish Lines fitness program. The program is built on 4 pillars –  faith, eating, exercise and mission. It emphasizes taking small steps toward your goals instead of making drastic changes at once.

We get motivational emails from Sara Borgstede, fitness plans from Jill Csillag and have online chats via Facebook. The women in this group are wonderful faith-filled, grace-filled women. This past winter took a toll on everyone in at least one of the 4 areas.

My fitness goal was the Groundhog Day Marathon that would run from 2/2 to 2/28 and take place at the mall. I was to park in the same spot, at the same time every morning, put my parka in the same locker, and walk the mall the same way every day and take a selfie in the same spot.

Groundhog Tracks - 2/2/15

Groundhog Tracks – 2/2/15

Well February in Northeast Ohio was what I was afraid it was going to be – crappy and not safe for driving. Also, I started back at my seasonal call center job and between those two happenings the Groundhog Day Marathon was grounded (pun intended).

Round 3 Fitness Goal

Round 2 has come and gone and no need for looking back and dwelling on what did not happen instead it is time to move forward. For round 3, my fitness goal is the Tour de Parks where I will walk one park in Northeast Ohio every weekend.

Ground Rules

I pick:

  • the park,
  • the day,
  • the time,
  • the camera settings

One of the things I found when I walked the mall for Round one’s fitness goal, I walked too fast. This time I am bringing my camera and taking pictures for a weekly blog post. Taking pictures will slow me down, help me enjoy being in the moment and let you walk beside me.

The Tour de Parks ends on April 25th.

North Park, Brunswick, OH

North Park, Brunswick, OH

Weekend Wisdom

The posts for this weekend will feature pictures from one of the parks I visited last year during my 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio series that ran on OgleOhio.com. (Today’s pictures are also part of the ones taken for the series, but were not featured on OgleOhio.)

See you Saturday for Weekend Wisdom and next Wednesday for the first installment of Tour de Parks.

The best picture from my weekly park walk will be featured on my photography blog OgleOhio.com.

What Faithful Finish Lines Meant To Me

(Author’s Note: Sorry for the bad spacing at the end of today’s post. WordPress and I are not getting along today.  The post looks beautiful when I go in and edit it but once I update it all the spacing between lines and paragraphs goes away.)

Sara asked me to write one more post about what the Faithful Finish Lines (online faith and fitness program) meant to me. While reviewing my participation in this fitness program, I came up with 3 words –

Acceptance, Grace, Community

Acceptance

Sara, Jill and fellow team members accepted me as I am, just like God does.

I started this faith, fitness, eating and mission program with a pulled muscle behind my left knee. Everyone understood and accepted that fact. I worked on my upper body and gently and gradually exercised the lower body, but did not push beyond what was comfortable.

Grace

I think everyone failed the weekly eating goals at least once. When we did, just like God, there was no shame, condemnation or keeping track of past failures. Our sins were washed white as snow.

On Monday of sugar week, I had a piece of turtle cheesecake with decaf coffee. Ooooppppssss! However, I cut back on sugar the rest of the week. So I made progress in reducing sugar instead of eliminating it – and progress is progress.

Every time I slipped up on the goals, I fell forward into arm’s full of grace and forgiveness.

Community

When you become a widow, some or all of your friends, family and/or your late husband’s friend’s and family will up and vanish like a fart in the wind. (Shawshank Redemption) There goes your community.

But not with this group. We knew we needed one another as we were all going through something. Community kept us going from day-to-day and week to week, whether it was participation in weekly Facebook chats, commenting on status updates in the group, or teaming up with a prayer partner. New friendships formed. We all had (and still have) each other’s back. It did not matter that I was a widow these ladies were here for me with prayers, articles and words of encouragement.

One week I had trouble printing my resume from Word (not a good thing when you are in-between jobs) and one of the women posted an article that helped me troubleshoot and fix the problem.

Final Thought

My first year of widowhood I sat around on weekends barely doing anything. I was storing up enough energy to make it through the next work week. I wished I had access to this type of community support during that time, as I needed someone to push me to move more and to help me get back into life.

Selly Sell

Looking to get in shape during the new year?

Join this program.

There are no special dietary requirements, no strict exercise routine, no calorie counting and no weigh-ins.

It is an affordable program you will stick with and there are several levels, one to fit every budget.

Click the link below:

coupon code: FFLJan2015
 
 
 
  • With this code, you get a $10 off discount for any program.
  • I will get $5 off (free month) for every new person who uses the code and puts my name or blog name for referral.

 

 
New program runs January 5th-February 21st, 2015
 
 
 
 
 
Sign-up Deadline: Saturday, January 3rd, 2015
 
 
 
 
 
 
I am continuing with this program.
 
 
 
 
 
 
So please join me inside the Facebook group for the next 7 weeks.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Why wouldn’t you want to join a fitness program that is full of acceptance, grace and community?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Disclaimer: I was given free access to the Faithful Finish Lines program with the promise of blogging about my experience. I am not receiving payment of any other form and the opinions are mine alone.
 

2020 Disclaimer: If you just found this post, I am no longer an active participant in the program as I am working on cutting Facebook out of my life.  Also this program has been revamped and is now Faithful Finish Lines 2.0 and is a membership program with a monthly fee. 

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