{Day 1} 31 Tricks To Scare Away The Grief Monster – CHOOSE

Welcome to 31 Tricks to Scare Away The Grief Monster. This series is part of the Write31Day challenge which is held every October. As revenge for writing this series, the grief monster decided to mess with the formatting of the second half of this post. I will not let him prevent me from doing this series. I choose to write on.

Today’s “Trick” 


Scripture Meditation

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14

When your spouse, or other loved one, moves to heaven you have 2 options:

  1. Stay Stuck In The Muck
  2. Move Forward With Your Life

You need to choose which option and your choice will impact the quality of your life.

Door #1

The first option is the one the Grief Monster wants you to pick. He loves it when people stay stuck. Staying stuck means you do not progress any further in your grief than Day 1. You choose to feel the intense pain and shock of Day 1 for the rest of your life. You go through a lot of mascara because it keeps running down your face when you cry all the time.

Door #2

The second option makes the Grief Monster cower in fear. He does not want you moving forward with life. By moving forward I mean doing the work to determine what life looks like without your loved one.

Some questions you will ask are:

  • Do I do the things I did before you became a couple?
  • Do I continue with the same things we enjoyed as a couple?
  • Do I develop new interests?

Choosing to move forward means you still grieve, but you work through your grief. Your time line did not end just because your husband’s did.


Choose to move forward in honor of him, knowing he is in your heart forever.  


Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Walter Anderson

Today’s Resource

I will periodically share resources with you throughout this series. Here is today’s resource:
Sara Borgstede has put together My Hope Toolbox: Practical Help for Depression and Sadness. I have my copy and plan to use it to help with the frustration and sadness of job searching. This kit will work, as long as you choose to use it. Click on the picture in this post, or in the sidebar to purchase for $4.
I am a member of Sara’s Faithful Finish Lines program and have been since November 2014. She’s done a wonderful job building a community of women who support and encourage one another on their faith and fitness journey, that is how I know My Hope Toolbox will work.  Read more about Sarah here.  (Disclaimer: The link is an affiliate link and I will receive compensation for any purchases.)
My Prayer
It is my prayer that you choose to work through your grief. If you are not grieving but know someone who is, encourage them to deal with their grief.
Dealing with the grief monster is not easy and quite painful at times. Choosing to move forward with life tells the grief monster you value life too much to stay stuck in the muck.
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© Award-Winner of She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of her photography at