Tag Archives: joy

{ Day 24 } Rommie’s Tricks To Scare Away The Grief Monster – PLAY!

Rommie was all about playing, especially tennis ball.

Air "Yoda"

Air “Yoda”

From the moment she got up until the moment sleep finally overtook her, she played and played hard.

You too. 

Even though you are grieving, you still need to play.

Get out and run around the yard playing tag with your children, grandchildren or nieces and nephews. Play ball, play pirates or play tea party with your niece and her dolls.

Find what you consider to be “play” and do it. Find away to step back from grief and have fun.

While grief invades every area of your life, it does not have to be front and center all the time. Playing will help you move forward through grief by taking your mind off it for awhile. It will give you a glimpse of what a normal life will be like when grief no longer occupies center stage.

Seize the opportunity to play every day for:

Rommie's Favorite Bible Verse

Rommie’s Favorite Bible Verse

Quote Meditation

Together with a culture of work, there must be a culture of leisure as gratification. To put it another way: people who work must take the time to relax, to be with their families, to enjoy themselves, read, listen to music, play a sport.

Pope Francis
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.

{ Day 23 } Rommie’s Tricks to Scare Away the Grief Monster – LICK!

Rommie always enjoyed licking a Frosty Paw. She knew what it meant when I opened the freezer door. She would sit and look up at me with her tail wagging a mile a minute. Peanut Butter was her favorite flavor but she would not turn down vanilla. She tapped danced more when she smelled the peanut butter.

Our first fosters were sisters C & L, who are probably up there in heaven with Rommie and Joe. We had them 7 months before we found an adopter who wanted a pair. One hot summer night I gave the Frosty Paws to all 3 girls and C & L just looked at me as if to say

“What do we do with this?”

Leave it to Rommie to show them they lick the ice cream. Once C & L saw how to eat it, they joined in and all 3 joyously licked their chops afterwards.

DCP_1300

Lick Is An Attitude

Lick is not just something you do with a Frosty Paw, it is also an attitude. One Rommie had when she played tennis ball tug-o-war.

“I’m gonna lick you Grandpa Q at tug-o-war!”

She was one determined golden.

Determined to lick grief is what you must be in order to get through it. Shake your fist at the Grief Monster and let him know that as God as your witness and helper, he will not keep you stuck in the muck. He will get the best of you in the beginning but you will lick him at his own game in the end.

Quote Meditation

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz

10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.

{ Day 22 } Rommie’s Tricks to Scare Away the Grief Monster – Wag!

Rommie loved to wag her tail at any and everyone.

Now I do not expect you to wag your tail – although if you are following Marltontrainer.com’s 31 Days to a Better Butt series, you may want to wag your tail.                   😉

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Rommie wagging her tail and telling me to throw the ball (2009)

I remember one tail wagging incident from a few years ago. It was the day of the Pro Football Hall of Fame Parade. I had just finished my phone call to Mom when I noticed Rommie was missing. All of a sudden I heard her come up the basement steps. She was carrying dirty dish towels in her mouth. It was not unusual for her to go downstairs and bring  up dirty clothes.

On this particular day, with tail held high and wagging, she went out the patio door to the deck, jumped off the deck, paraded around the perimeter of her yard carrying her “treasure”, jumped up on the deck and came back in and plopped down on the living room rug. She looked at me with this proud as a peacock look because she had her own parade.

Needless to say, I was laughing and almost rolling on the floor.

Your Turn To Wag

Now I am not suggesting you parade around your yard with dirty laundry in your mouth.

Instead wave and I am not talking about waving a one finger salute either. Just wave to more people.

Whether you are walking or driving make a conscious effort to wave more. Roll down the window or stick your hand out the sunroof and wave at someone while stopped at the next traffic light.

Wave to the neighbor across the street on your walk around the block. Joe and Rommie use to walk in a nearby development he called “Snobville.” People would not wave back or even say “Hi.” as Rommie and Joe walked by people working in their yards.

Wave and see how good it makes you feel. You will make people wonder who is that crazy person and what are they up to?

Now isn’t that a joyful feeling?  Plus you get a chance to practice your Miss (or Mr.) America wave.

10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.

{ Day 21 } Rommie’s Tricks to Scare Away the Grief Monster – DIG!

Good early evening to everyone. It is a gorgeous day here in Northeast Ohio – sunny and 70’s. I hope it is sunny and warm wherever you live.

Here is another Rommie trick for scaring the grief monster –

DIG! 

Rommie did some digging as a puppy under the 3 pine trees in our backyard but mostly she enjoyed digging under the neighbor’s fence. The hole would be big enough for her BFF Jewels to wiggle through and the 2 of them would run around Rommie’s yard and end up wrestling.

DCP_0548

Rommie also liked to dig and then stick her head through the hole and watch the neighbor’s work in their yard. By doing this she was discovering a whole new world.

Your New World

You discover a whole new world after the loss of your spouse. Digging into your past will help you put the pieces together of this new world. You may decide to bring some hobbies and interest from your past into your future. However while digging and unearthing buried treasure, you may decide you do not want any part of what you did before and bury it for good.

Then you will find a new spot and dig, dig, dig to uncover new buried treasure.

Welcome To My World

I dug in an old spot and rediscovered reading and photography.

I also dug in a new spot and discovered

  • blogging
  • networking
  • new friends
  • loan officer position
  • lawn mower part sales
  • online career coaching

Combined with my past interests, I lead a very full life – sometimes too full.

Go Dig!

There is a whole world out there waiting to be discovered, you just have to dig for it. Here’s praying you unearth new joy’s while digging.

Just please be sure to wipe your paws before entering the house.                           🙂

{ Day 20 } Rommie’s Tricks for Scaring Away the Grief Monster – SNIFF!

Good Afternoon and welcome to Day # 20 of 31 Tricks to Scare Away the Grief Monster. This is day 3 of Rommie’s tricks.

The trick for today is

Sniff

img_7783

Rommie sniffing out the monster in our neighbor’s yard a few years ago.

Quote Meditation

Smell is a potent wizard that transports us across thousands of miles and all the years we have lived. 

Helen Keller

Aromatherapy can help you deal with the stress of grief. It can calm your nerves, relax you and help you fall asleep.

Vanilla

I read an article years ago that stated people who are sick tend to heal faster and better with a light scent of vanilla in the air. I am not sure it will help with grief but it can’t hurt. It is a comforting smell. A smell reminiscent of days spent cooking and baking. No wonder people heal faster with vanilla in the air.

Sensuous 

Sensuous by Estee Lauder has been my go to fragrance ever since it came out about 6 months after Joe’s passing. It smells like a warm hug and I need hugs, lots and lots of hugs. It is musky (which Joe hated) but very feminine and contains notes of Jasmine, which helps induce sleep but you wake out without the “groggy” feeling that you get with lavender.

I ask Santa for this every Christmas and highly recommend it.

Flowers 

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Buy yourself some drug or grocery store flowers every now and then. Besides giving you something to sniff, they will add a pop of color to your dining, living or whatever room you choose to display them.

Rommie and Aromatherapy

I encourage you to find ways to incorporate aromatherapy into your life. Rommie had a unique way of incorporating aromatherapy into her life that involved sniffing out skunks, including biting one one the butt when she was a pup. And of course, she was good at sniffing out treats.                       😉

Eww! He Smells Funny!

Eww! He Smells Funny!

Resource: 

Here is a link to an article from Psychology Today on using smells to enhance your life. My fellow job seekers, please pay attention to the second bullet point.

About

10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.

{ Day 18 } Rommie’s Tricks for Scaring Away the Grief Monster – Come!

Scripture Meditation

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
The command “come” can save a dog’s life. Come can prevent him or her from getting into trouble. Rommie learned “come” and “come here.” Even though she knew them, she did not always obey.
Likewise “come” can save your life.
Come to Jesus and give him your burdens. Lay them at His cross.
Feel spiritually refreshed.
Feel your burdens ease as Jesus helps you carry them. The load is always lighter when 2 people carry it.

Come sit with God and read His word, you will find comfort in what He says.

Playtime Makes Me Smile

Come galloping to Jesus (tennis ball optional).

Rommie always knew when she came, there was a treat waiting for her. There are plenty of treats waiting for you when you come lay your grief and other cares at the foot of the cross. The treats of:

  • Peace in knowing Jesus is helping you carry your grief
  • Joy in knowing His strength is the foundation for your joy.
  • Relief in knowing you can rest easy because of your relationship with Jesus.

Quote Meditation 

The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper and advocate.

Joseph B. Wirthlin
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.

{ Day 18 } Rommie’s Tricks for Scaring Away The Grief Monster – SIT!

For those new to JoyReturns, Rommie was my 12 year-old golden retriever who moved to heaven on July 31st of this year. Halloween was her favorite holiday as a lot of people came to see her and give her belly rubs. Oh how she loved her belly rubs!

This week’s “tricks” are ones she would recommend to help you move forward through your grief so you can get rid of the grief monster.

Howl-o-ween 2013

Howl-o-ween 2013

Scripture Meditation 

He told the crowd to sit down on the ground.

Matthew 15:35

This verse refers to Jesus telling people to sit so he can feed them with the fish and bread.

You are being called to sit not on the ground but in a chair at a grief support program. You could attend GriefShare, Iike I did, or you could attend a program at hospice or at any place else that offers a support program.

Feeds Your Soul

A support program will feed your tired, hungry and questioning soul. You will be around people who know grief’s pain and what you are going through. Unless your friends or family have been through your circumstances, they will not be able to relate. While you need to be around them, you also need to be with people who can relate to what you are feeling.

It will give you a chance to tell your story, vent your frustrations and ask your questions. The questions will mostly go unanswered as God is the one with all the answers and He is under no obligation to you to answer them. But you can ask. It helps your healing to get your feelings out.

Otherwise, you will be like a can of shaken Pepsi – you will explode someday because you pushed all your grief down inside.

Commitment

Attending a grief support program does not have to be a life time commitment. The length of time will vary depending upon how long the program runs and if there are any limits on how long you can attend. GriefShare runs 13 weeks and they suggest you sit through a 13 week session twice, because you will be at a different place in your grief when you see the videos the second time. You will pick up on things you did not notice the first time

Friends

Hopefully you will make a new friend or two, which is the main reason why you need to attend. It gets you out of the house and meeting new people. There comes a time in life when making new friends is hard and making lasting friendships is even harder. You need all the help you can get when it comes to meeting people.

Thankful

Plus sitting there in the group, you will learn what other people are dealing with. Once you hear their circumstances, you will be thankful for your own grief.

I’ve sat through a year of GriefShare as a participant and then 5 years as a co-facilitator. There is not one person who came through the program that I would take their grief in place of mine.

So go sit in a chair at a grief support group. You will be amazed at what you will learn, if you have the courage to sit and listen.

Quote Meditations

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Winston Churchill

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Walter Anderson
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at OgleOhio.com, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.
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