Has It All Been In Vain? Questions After 9 Years of Widowhood

Was Joe’s passing all in vain?

Did people learn lesson’s from his passing?

Here today and gone tomorrow

What lessons if any have I learned?

I know marriages and family relationships are not perfect. Relationships are made up of humans, flawed imperfect humans. There will be bickering. but why do we resist spending time together?

Here today and gone tomorrow.

It was 9 years ago today Joe had a stroke at the base of the brain, it will be 9 years tomorrow that he was pronounced brain dead.

He was alive mentally and physically on the 27th. He was vibrant, full of life, love, laughter, joy. He frustrated me because I had to go get the other TV cart in the TV lounge in the rehab department. One TV cart is the same as the other –  right? No, not to Joe.

So full of life one evening and gone 11 hours later.

Knowing my heart aches for slow dances, hugs, cuddling while watching TV, or just aches in general. Is that not enough to get other couples of any age to appreciate one another?

Is my achy breaky heart not enough to get people in general to appreciate and love one another?

To take or make the time to spend together?

Here today and gone tomorrow.

When a spouse passes, your heart and soul ache in nooks and crannies you do  not know you have. The ache from grief can and will invade the same nooks and crannies when other family members move to heaven as well.

Questioning whether or not people learned lessons from Joe’s passing hurts and grieves me immensely. Fearing that there are people who did not learn lessons tears me up inside.

For your sake, love one another.

For your loved one’s sake, love one another.

Remember, here today and gone tomorrow.

Not them – you might be here today and gone tomorrow.

Leave no love unspoken or acted upon.

Don’t let yours or your loved one’s passing be in vain. Love one another – now.




31 Days of Joy: Day 8 – Memories of Sleeping Together

The wonderful thing about this time of year is Rommie (golden retriever) gets cold at night.  When she does she jumps into bed with me, well she use to jump into bed.  Because of her hip dysplasia, she puts her 2 front paws up on the bed and I lift her rear end up.  Unfortunately, my master bedroom is too small for a ramp or steps for the bed.

It reminded me of times when Joe, Rommie and I would take a Saturday or Sunday afternoon siesta. The 3 of us laying on our bed drifting off to sleep. It was during those few moments before sleep overtook me that I would lay there thanking God for the special moment and thinking now THIS is heaven on earth!

There was such a deep, joyful peace in my heart as the sandman knocked me out.

It was those warm, sweet memories that came flooding back last night as Rommie snuggled with me – for about 20 minutes then decided she was too warm. The hardwood floor was more comfortable.

Oh well, the weather is only going to get colder and that means there will be nights when she will sleep with me all night.

Rommie enjoying a late summer day.
Rommie enjoying a late summer day.
Weekend Wisdom

Anniversary Post: Michele The Prophet

On this the 6th anniversary of Joe’s passing, I thought I would share our house hunting adventure and my prophecy.

In The Beginning 

The beginning started in March 1999 after 7 years of apartment dwelling, where we heard our upstairs neighbor’s headboard rapidly banging against the wall several nights a week.

Every Saturday we were out with our realtor and every Sunday we went to open houses. Joe was the driver and I was the navigator as we decided to move to a new city.

This went on for months.

At one point I told Joe if we were not in a house by New Year’s Eve, he could house hunt for himself in 2000 because I was staying in the apartment.  I saw several houses that would have made wonderful homes, but they were unacceptable according to Joe’s standards.


Early one July Saturday morning we looked at a 3 bedroom ranch with a covered deck and a big back yard, perfect for a dog. After the showing we stood in the driveway and our realtor asked if we wanted to go write a contract. I said “Yes!” However Joe said “We’ve not eaten yet, so let us go have breakfast and discuss it.” UGH!  I wanted to strangle him right then and there. To the local Denny’s for breakfast, we went. It was during the middle of breakfast at Denny’s Joe called and set up an appointment for us to sit down and write a contract. It was accepted and we finally had our first house.

Fast Forward To Sometime After Taking Possession

Shortly after we moved in I mention something about this being our first and last home. He said “You mean, you do not want to build a big, new home someday?”

I told him “No!”  “If you want to move into a big, new home, you are moving in with another Mrs. Kearns because this one is staying put right here.”

Fast Forward to 2008 Six years ago today Joe moved into his big, new house in heaven.  He now resides with several Mrs. Kearns’ – his mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and all the Mrs. Kearns’ prior to them, while I stay put here in this 3 bedroom ranch with Rommie.

Hmmmmmmm…Sounds like a prophecy fulfilled to me.