Tag: griefshare

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Meditating With Mozart

Michele Kearns

Saturday was a cold, snowy day which turned into an even snowier evening, with tiny flakes falling as steady as a spring rain.

After supper Rommie and I retired to bed.  It is the one piece of furniture we can both comfortably stretch out on together. Instead of jumping on the bed she might decide it is time to play ball, other times she will lie down on her bed or the hardwood floor. We do not go to sleep but just relax.  I will write, read a book, or watch a movie on my Kindle.

While reading or writing I will usually play “Mozart: The Complete Piano Sonatas” by Carmen Piazzini. Keeping the volume is just loud enough to provide some background noise.

Saturday night, after doing some reading, I closed my eyes and focused on Mozart. I concentrated on the lovely, delicate, well-played pieces, letting the sound take over my whole body. I felt lousy but just relaxing and emptying my cluttered mind helped me feel better. At some point I did fall asleep but did not for long.

I started doing meditation a couple weeks ago to keep my brain calm, centered and focused. Like most introverts, it runs a million miles an hour in a million different directions and if my mind is emptied of all thoughts it is better able to hear God’s voice.

If you are grieving or have a chaotic life,  try spending at least a few minutes meditating with Mozart or even just in silence. Do it a few minutes a day and I bet you will eventually hear God speaking to you.

You never know what you will hear God say after you empty your cluttered mind. 

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How To Handle Christmas Parties

Michele Kearns

Sing hey!  Sing hey!
For Christmas Day;
Twine mistletoe and holly.
For a friendship glows
In winter snows,
And so let’s all be jolly!

Author Unknown

If you are grieving this holiday season, you are probably not feeling very jolly. Now you find yourself inundated with party invites from friends and business acquaintances. What do you do?

You do what you have the strength to do.

Here are some suggestions for handling party invites, some of which I learned in GriefShare.

Party Invites From Friends 

Option 1 – The Party Animal – If  you feel up to going to all the parties, then do it.  God bless you for having a party animal spirit this year.

Option 2 – Private Party – Arrange a time to stop by your host’s house and spend about 30 minutes having coffee, cocoa or tea.  You might even bring a box of your favorite drink as a thank you gift.  Let your host know you enjoyed past parties and want an invite next year. Inform her it is just going to take some time to enjoy the season’s festivities again.

Option 3 – Be Picky – Pick and choose which parties to attend.  For those invitations you decline let the host know you appreciate their hospitality but can not handle the number of parties as in year’s past.

Company Parties

Client Is The Host – Talk with your boss to see if you have to attend. If you do then let your boss know how long you think you can handle being in a festive environment.

Company Sponsored – If your company’s Christmas party is a catered lunch, then fix yourself a plate and go back to your desk and eat if you do not feel up to being around jolly co-workers. If your company is having a party at a restaurant, then make an appearance and stay for a short time.

In all circumstances DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL!

It is a depressant and the last thing you need.

Final Thoughts

You will enjoy attending parties again but it is going to take some time.

Remember your loved one wants you to move forward with life and isolating yourself from parties year after year is not moving forward.

Life is to be lived – so live it to the fullest even in tough times. 

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Holiday Gift – “God’s Healing For Life’s Losses” – Robert W. Kellemen PH. D.

Michele Kearns

Know anyone suffering from broken engagement, divorce or loss of a spouse?  Then “God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting” is for them.

The book is by Robert W. Kellemen, PH.D.  (Link to RPM Ministries) and is written so a person grieving a broken engagement can benefit from it, as well as a woman grieving her husband’s move to heaven.  He is honest about the pain suffering causes and also admits we need to be honest with God in our grief.

Dr. Kelleman introduces the reader to a comparison of the typical grief and acceptance responses versus Biblical grief and growth responses.

Through the use of his and a client’s story along with Biblical stories and scriptures, Dr. Kellemen guides the reader from grief to growth.

What I Did Differently The 2nd Time

I read it several months ago but since life has been crazy lately and my anxiety level up over my under-employment situation, I got the book out and this time not only read it but answered the questions at the end of each chapter.  Doing this greatly helped my mood over the couple of weeks I took to work through the book.

Not A Quick Read

This book is not one to be read in a day or two but one to be read a chapter at a time and some serious thought given to the questions.  I recommend writing in a notebook so you have plenty of room to answer the questions in detail.

I also took notes and wrote scripture that spoke to my heart.  In fact, I wrote scripture over and over again in order to help me remember it.  For example:

“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

Psalm 62:8

As an under-employed person, trusting God to provide for my needs is crucial but very tough to do.  So far God has not failed me and will not fail me because He is God and He is unable to fail.  Working through this book has strengthened my hope and faith.

Definition of Suffering

“Suffering is so dreadful because suffering is death.  All suffering is the dying, separating, and severing of relationships.”

It is because of this sentence that Dr. Kellemen’s book applies to anyone suffering any loss and therefore makes a wonderful gift for those serious about getting through their grief, no matter what event caused the grief.

I am going to close with the following scripture I wrote in the front of my book.  Where I came across this verse from John, I do not know.

“The Father himself loves you dearly.”    John 16:27

Yes, God does love you dearly and his love comes shining through in Dr. Kellemen’s book.

Author’s Note:  Dr. Kellemen provides insightful thoughts about healing from grief on several GriefShare videos.