Tag Archives: grief support

Sorry Joe But…”You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

As the 6th anniversary of Joe’s move to heaven approaches, I find myself thinking about the things he wanted me to do if I outlived him.

What Joe Wanted

A life of pain and agony is not what Joe wanted for me, as we had this discussion many times. He wanted me to move forward with life by:

  • Excelling in my career at the bank.
  • Dating again.
  • Marrying again.

What He Got

Here’s how each one of his wishes turned out, in addition to some things he never expected.

  • Excelling in my career at the bank – I am glad he was positive about me being having a successful career at the bank. However, the joke was on him as I was laid off in 2009.
  • Dating again – Once again the joke is on him as men my age suffer from the “George Clooney” syndrome and only want 25 – 35 yr old ladies on their arm. Plus I choose to meet men the old fashioned way – in person. That opportunity has not presented itself, at least no yet. While I might be forward thinking in some area’s of life (blogging), meeting someone online gives me the creeps. Although it would make an interesting blog series.   😉
  • Marrying again (see Dating).
  • Learning to blog – He taught me about computers but never about blogging or website design.
  • Resume writing – Joe was my resume writer so when I got laid off I was upset at him. How dare he leave me with to do this on my own. However, I learned how to do it and it really is not so bad, unlike writing cover letters.
  • Job Search – He would be dazed and confused at what all is involved in finding a job now. I am sure he is impressed with how I’ve handled it, especially the networking.

So he never got what he wanted but hopefully he is glad at some of the things that happened since his move to heaven.

Remember Joe,

You can’t always get what you want.

The Rolling Stones

 

 

Henry Ford & Grief Recovery

(Author’s Note: Since I am now publishing “Movin’ and Groovin’ Mondays”, an original post will appear on Wednesdays, with “Weekend Wisdom” still on Saturday and Sundays.)
 

A lot of grieving people will say “I can’t recover from my husband’s death.” or “I can’t move on with my life since my child died.”

To them I say – “You are right.”

Don’t believe me, here is what Henry Ford had to say:

If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.

Henry Ford

Can’t

Can’t needs eliminated from our vocabulary anyway, but at no other time is it more important to get rid of it than during grief.

If you keep telling yourself “I can’t” during your grief journey, then you will not recover because you are telling yourself you “can’t.” You keep sowing negative thoughts. And you know what the Bible says about sowing:

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

Galatians 6:7

You sow negative thoughts, you reap negative thoughts.

Negativity will keep you feeling nothing but excruciating pain and agony until your dying day.

“What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?”

Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life – in pain and agony?

Is that how your spouse, parent, child or other loved one would have you spend the rest of  your life?

Then eliminate “can’t” from your grief vocabulary and replace it with:

  • I can recover
  • I will move forward

After all, recovering and moving forward does not mean you forget or stop loving your spouse, it means you carry them with you in your heart while your life takes a new direction.

Take Action

Won’t you please eliminate “can’t” and even the word “won’t” and live a life of joy in honor of your spouse or other loved one? 

(Coming Next Wednesday: “What Joe Wanted…and What He Got”)

“40 Days Of Joy” Kick-off – Pumpkin Chiffon Pie

Welcome to the kickoff of the 2013 edition of “40 Days of Joy”.  Normally this series runs from Thanksgiving Eve through January 1st, however this year there are only 36 days in that time span.  So I am starting it earlier with posts focusing on recipes that are family holiday traditions.

This way you have plenty of time for grocery shopping.

First up is the time honored tradition of Pumpkin Chiffon Pie.  Once Mom started making this, regular pumpkin pie just would not do.  It is light, fluffy and the perfect choice for dessert after a heavy Thanksgiving or Christmas meal.

Enjoy!

Pumpkin Chiffon Pie.

This recipe is standard dessert for Thanksgiving and Christmas and comes from one of Mom’s old, beat up cookbooks.  It is very light and perfect for after a heavy meal.

ENJOY :D

Ingredients:

1 8 inch Graham Cracker Crust Pie Shell

1 Envelope Unflavored Gelatin,

¾ C Light Brown Sugar – Firmly Packed

½ t Salt

1 t Pumpkin Pie Spice

3 Eggs – Separated

¾ C Milk

1 ¼ C Canned Pumpkin

1/3 C Granulated Sugar

Whipped Cream or Cool Whip

Directions:

Combine gelatin, brown sugar, salt, and spice in sauce pan.

Combine egg yolks and milk – Stir into gelatin mixture.  Over medium heat, stir constantly until mixture boils.

Remove from heat, add pumpkin.

Chill until it mounds slightly when dropped from spoon.

Test frequently for mounding stage.

Beat egg whites until frothy.   Add sugar a little bit at a time and beat until glossy stiff peaks form.

Fold pumpkin mixture into egg whites.  Spoon into pie shell.  Chill until firm.

PIG OUT once firm – just make sure you save some for your guests ;)

Other Serving Suggestions:  Serve with your favorite coffee for breakfast or with a glass of warm milk for bedtime snack.      :D

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