I am a griever.
I am a griever in the sense that I grieve when death strikes, but then move forward with life.
I believe in the power of grieving, in the power of crying and letting grief out instead of keeping it bottled up.
However, I do not believe in forever grieving a loved one’s passing.
Why would I grieve Joe’s move to heaven every day? That would be very selfish of me. He is in paradise and to grieve over that fact 24/7 six years later is wrong.
Yes, there will be occasions where grief will surface, like when his niece gets married later this year. I will go to the cemetery with a silk flower arrangement in the wedding colors. I will have a few choice words for him as he should be here to give his niece a hug and to welcome his new nephew into the family.
After leaving the cemetery I will go to the wedding and reception and enjoy myself. It will be an example of joy and pain co-existing with joy winning the day.
How I Think Of Joe
When I think of Joe, I live out what is on our marker at the cemetery:
“Think of me, think of me fondly when we’ve said good bye.”
You musical theatre lovers will recognize the song “Think of Me” from “The Phantom of the Opera.” It was Joe’s favorite song and sung by the character Christine Daae. It seemed appropriate to put the phrase on our marker.
Focus, Focus, Focus
My focus is on the positive – Joe is in heaven with God, Jesus, his brother, mother, father and the rest of the Kearns family who moved to heaven before Joe.
There will come a time when your focus will also be on the positive memories and the fact your loved one is in paradise – where there is no pain and suffering and life is grander and more beautiful than here.
If it has been more than 2 years since your loved one’s move to heaven and you are still in an active grieving mode, I have one question for you – “Why?”
Think of him fondly while moving forward with your new and wonderful life.
It will not be easy but nothing worthwhile ever is and life here is still worthwhile.