Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
I know it seems counter productive to wait as a way to move forward but waiting is an important part of your recovery.
Grief will not be rushed.
It can not be rushed. Oh how people try to rush grief but in the end it comes back to bite them somehow someway.
You can anticipate a 1 – 2 year dance with the grief monster. I was at the 18 month mark when I realized I was through most of my grief. I might have been that way at 13 months but I just did not realize it.
My situation was complicated with being laid off the week I came back from vacation for Joe’s one year anniversary. The key words are “my situation.” Your situation will be different from everyone else’s. Every snowflake is different and so is every grief journey.
I pray you do not experience a layoff after your husband’s move to heaven.
Learning To Dance
God is with you as you wait for grief to leave. You can not rush the grief monster, you can only learn to dance with him through your grief journey. God will give you the steps so you will eventually stomp on Griefy’s toes.
God will also strengthen you. Lift your eyes to Him, the Healer. At the end you will say
“I made it through my grief journey, so I can do anything!”
How God Works
God will use different tools to help strengthen you. He does not only work through the Bible. He works through other books, people, places, and music. Anything you can think of, He can use to strengthen you. That is the type of power God has – the power to use anything to help you heal.
If at all possible, you need to wait to make big decisions such as moving, switching jobs and most importantly – dating again.
It is important to get through the first year dealing with all the holidays, anniversaries and other family events for the first time without your spouse. There are many, many memories that will come flooding back with each special occasion and even everyday events will bring back memories.
A lot of those memories occurred in your house. You need to process those precious memories and learn to live in your house without your spouse. Now you may be in a situation where you need to sell to move closer to family or your income will not support the house payment. Only you can decide if those two scenarios apply to you. If you do decide to sell, make sure you consult several people you trust before proceeding with the sale.
Work will usually help you by giving at least some time off during holidays the first year. If you switch jobs they may not be so understanding, especially since you are now low person on the seniority totem pole.
Also a new job will expect you to be up and running with your job duties in 90 days and having meltdowns will not help you meet that 90 day deadline.
So wait, wait till the time is right.
The first year is filled with lots of land minds that will explode in your face. Different events bring different types and sizes of explosions. If you have a major meltdown during a holiday party you might scare away your date, who is your perfect next spouse but your meltdown freaked him out and he ran for the hills. If only you had waited and dealt with all the emotions the first year drudges up.
So wait, wait through the first year and let God strengthen you during this time so you will soar like eagles.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.
Robert H. Schuller
You must be logged in to post a comment.