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Updated: L & O Franchise

(My blogging vacation is coming to a close.  I will return on Monday 10/22, have a joy filled rest of the week and weekend.)

 Why watching the “Law and Order” franchise is not a good idea.

Author’s note:  Thought this was appropriate since the weekend is here and Friday and Saturday nights are “hot” date nights. (At least they were the last time I was in the dating scene.)

Joe and I use to watch “Law and Order” and “Law and Order SVU.”  We both use to think, “Boy we are glad to be married and out of dating scene.”

There were episodes dealing with date rape, boyfriends beating girlfriends, guys drugging girls, and people swindling money from other people.  Those scenarios, and others, were enough to give me the heebee jeebees.   After all, those stories were inspired by real events.

Ooops…Now guess who is single and possibly reentering the dating scene?  Uh Oh!

Maybe we should not have spent all those seasons watching “Law and Order.”  While dating again does sound nice, it also gives me the hee bee gee bees.

dating

3 Benefits To Dating A Widow

Afraid of dating someone who suddenly became a widow and at a young age? Well here are 3 benefits to dating a widow.

“Precious and Few”

She knows just how quickly life can change. Therefore, the moments you spend together are precious.  This gives her a greater appreciation for life and the little things such as a walk together on a beach, cold winter evenings snuggling by the fireplace, or sitting under the stars on a warm summer evening.

“Passion”

A widow has a renewed passion and purpose for living.  This stems not only from recognizing life is precious but from figuring out who she is now and her plans for her life.

In order to figure out her passion, purpose and the impact they are going to have on her new life, she had to do a lot of self-analysis and reflection.  This could have involved fasting & praying, taking self-assessment tests, talking to family and friends or any combination of these and other options.

No matter how she figured out her passion and purpose, it was hard work and a lot of thought went into her decisions.

 “I Made It Through The Rain”

Dating a widow means dating someone with strength and determination to move forward with life.  Making the decision to move forward was hard but taking the step necessary was even harder.

It takes a lot to trudge through the storm grief causes day after day, after day, after day and yet do the things needed to make forward progress.  The grief storm winds keep blowing and blowing trying to stop a widow from moving forward.  The grief wants to beat down a widow so she gives up and stays stuck in grief.

However,

“Then one day the sun appears

And we come through those lonely years”

I Made It Through The Rain 

Barry Manilow

Isn’t that the type of person with whom you want to share life, someone with the strength and determination to survive life’s storms?

Bonus Thought

If you are dating a widow, give thanks to God for her previous husband and their marriage.

Your relationship with her would not be what it is, if it were not for their life together.  

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2 Pieces Of Evidence

While writing Thursday’s post about how this blog helped me heal, I was in and out of a negative state.

Why?

Because it forced me to not only examine how I’ve healed but whether or not I truly have healed.   

Yes, I know I have healed as much as possible from Joe’s passing. However, others do not think I have healed.

Exhibit #1 – This Blog

Other people see this blog as proof that I have not healed one bit.  They see it as my attempt to hang on to or resurrect Joe.

Well that is not true.  This blog was never intended to be about him, it was always intended to be about my journey through grief, extended unemployment and any other adventures life throws my way.  Sharing my adventures is the best way I know to educate others about widows and our experiences.  This way people know how to help widows and what to expect should they suddenly lose their spouse.

Exhibit #2 – Dating (NOT!)

They also see that fact that I have not dated as proof I have not healed.   Single men my age are a rarity.  Now they might not be such a rarity if I hung out in bars – UGH!!!  Been there, done that.  I spent 5 nights a week at the local disco during some of my college years.  (Hey!  It was great exercise.)   If I am to date again, then God will put a man in my life somehow, someway, someday.  (Ooppss…someday never comes.)

Knowing I have these 2 pieces of evidence against me, was dragging me down last week as I wrote the healing piece.  

Positive

So what did I do to get back into a positive state of mind? 

  • I listened to music – “Elvis Country (Legacy Edition)” is my latest favorite. 
  • I also listened to a speech given by my friend Jeff that is on my MP3 player.  I would listen to it at night while waiting to fall asleep. 
  • I updated my “Awards and Performance Portfolio” located in the top menu.  Being creative is a great way for me to change my thinking.
  • I made sure I kept up with the daily devotionals. Currently I am reading through the Bible in a year with a devotional from “Words of Hope.”
  • I also made sure Rommie and I had some extended play time, time away from job searching and blog writing.  Playtime with her is a great way to get out of a funk.

Forward

The healing post is written and I shared why it was hard to write, so on to a new, fresh, exciting topic – like what color I will chose to paint my nails tonight.

Have a joy filled week and remember:

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.”

 George C. Scott

 Coming tomorrow: “My Escalator Speech”