Tag: dating

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Does Age Matter In a Romantic Relationship?

Michele Kearns

Back in my 20’s, I dated 3 men who were 18 – 20 years older than me.

While I enjoyed each relationship, none of them got serious.   I ended up marrying Joe who was 4 yrs younger than me (and he STILL died first).

Michele’s Destiny

Two out of the three men I dated are dead.

Marrying either one of the two would have resulted in being a widow BEFORE the age of 40.

So I guess being a widow at an age society considers young, was my destiny.

The Third Man

If I had married the 3rd, I would have a husband now in his 70’s.  Hopefully in good health but you never know.  I could be pushing him around in his wheelchair and changing diapers.

Entering Into A May-December Romance

Would I enter into a May-December romance at this time of my life?  No.  What would I possibly want with a man in his 30’s or in his 70’s?

I want and need men friends of all ages but that is it – friendship only.  However, the friendship is “Gone With The Wind” once a man enters into a romantic relationship with another woman, but that is the subject for another post.

Michele’s Romantic Want

What I want (somewhere down the road) is a man 2 – 4 years older or younger than me.  Hopefully we will be blessed with at least 25 years of good health, happiness and prosperity before health issues arise.  I know challenges will come our way but together with God we will handle them.

Proof

My sister and mom are proof that love conquers age differences.  Mom’s marriage to step-dad lasted over 20 years and Sis and Brother-in-Law are close to celebrating 30 years.

Further Proof

So does age matter in a relationship?  Not if it is true love because…

Love Never Fails

1st Corinthians 13:8

So is your love for your lover or spouse true whether you are close in age or far apart?

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I Am Not Able To Be Myself

Michele Kearns

(Author’s Note, I’ve written briefly about this before but since I have a lot of new readers I thought I would address the subject again.  This post is a prequel to what is coming in the next week or two as my friend Gina gave me a book last night which contains chapters about dating and relationships.)

Home Alone

One of the reasons I am home a lot is because I am unable to be myself around single men and married, engage, or dating couples.

I have to watch what I say and do because I might come across as being desperate for a man or women who are part of a couple may think I am out to get their man.

Believe me, the last thing I want is a reputation as a home-wrecker or a girlfriend/boyfriend buster-upper.

It is very tough and exhausting watching what I say and do, so I carefully pick and choose which and what social functions I attend.

No Man For Me – Yet?

I am not out to get a man because I do not need one.

The only man I need is God who is my ultimate provider.

I might want a man in my life but I do not need one.

So rest assured men, I am not some clingy, desperate woman out to snare you. And women, you can be confident I am not out to break up your relationship.

Bottom Line

Just relax around a widow and allow her to be herself.  After what she has been through odds are she is in no hurry to get a man. (Yes, there are a few desperate widows out there but most are not.)

 

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Do You Really Want To Be A Significant Other?

Michele Kearns

In this politically correct world of ours there are numerous “terms of endearment” used by couples when introducing each other.

Some of the terms are:

  • Partner
  • Significant Other
  • Special lady friend
  • Special man friend
  • Special woman friend
  • Special gentleman friend

Gone are the days of boyfriend and girlfriend.  All this in the name of political correctness and so old people who are dating have a “grown up” term to call each other.  Gag!

While all of the above I find ridiculous there is one which is my pet peeve.

Pet Peeve

My pet peeve of the terms is “significant other.”

Other is the noun and significant is the adjective.

That is my aspiration in life – to be an “other” to someone else.  It is rude and condescending to call someone an “other.”

I would rather hear people who are dating introduce each other as “lover” instead of significant other.

Lover implies action for at least one of two reasons, although in today’s society both usually apply:

Before Widowhood

Yes, before I became a widow I thought nothing about the phrase “significant other” but upon becoming a widow, I started to see differently most aspects of life and relationships.

I’ve always been known as one who sees issues from different angles and viewpoints, widowhood just enhanced this skill.

February 14th

So as you celebrate Valentine’s Day one month from today, ask yourself “Do I really want to be a significant other?” and/or “Shouldn’t I be referring to the person I’m dating as something besides an “other?”