Tag: Careerealism

40 Days of Joy, grief, Unemployment

“40 Days Of Joy” Black Friday Book Shopping List

Michele Kearns

Here is your Black Friday Book Shopping List. There is something on it for everyone.

All links (blue) are non-affiliate links, which means I do not receive any compensation. They will take you directly to the author’s website.  The others can be found on Amazon.com

Widows

“Postcards from the Widows’ Path”  (Ferree Hardy) (widowschrisitanplace.com) –  I bought this book earlier this year and found myself having a hard time putting it down.  Each chapter begins with a postcard written by Naomi, Ruth, or Orpah. Then Ferree tells the tale of the three women, while weaving in her own experiences as a widow.  For example, in Chapter 5 she explains the 2 needs of widows – “kindness and rest.”  This chapter resonated with me the most. As a widow, these quickly became short in supply – especially “kindness.”

The book of Ruth affirms that God is with widows and cares for us even though at times it does not feel like it.

Thank you Ferree for this wonderful book.

“Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations on Working Through Grief”   (Martha Whitmore Hickman)

This is the book Joe’s Aunt, who is a nun, gave me at the funeral home.  April 17th, is the day I started reading it and the devotion for that day really spoke to me.  I began to have hope of surviving my grief journey.

“Through A Season of Grief, devotions for your journey from mourning to joy”   (Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard)

A devotional based on GriefShare, a Biblically based world-wide grief support group.  I was a participant for a year and then co-facilitated the group for 4 years.  I have lots of sticky and handwritten notes in the margins.

“Finding Hope In Times of Grief”   (Preston and Glenda Parrish)

A moving story of how hope in Christ got Preston and Glenda through their son’s unexpected passing, and how they discovered Jesus is enough.  It is not just for parents whose child has moved to heaven as there are lessons for everyone in this book.

Thank you Preston and Glenda for sharing your story.

Job Seekers

“The Character of Leadership, An Ancient Model for a Quantum Age”  (Philip H. Eastman II) LeadershipAdvisors.com

The only book on leadership you will ever need.  Mr. Eastman’s model for leadership is based on 7 character elements. Read and put into practice this model and you will distinguish yourself from other employees once you land a job.  Use this model while volunteering during your career transition and you will stand out from other job seekers.  Don’t let the title fool you, it is a brief and easy read.  One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Mr. Eastman and can be found at the bottom of the link to his website.

“The challenges we face today are not economic, environmental, social, or legal; they are challenges of character and leadership.”

 “Careerealism, the smart approach to a satisfying career”  (J. T. O’Donnell )

Want a satisfying career? Start here.  J.T.’s methodology will help you figure out if you are on the right path or if you need to switch careers.  The book is great alone but better if used with Careerealism.com and/or CareerHMO.com

Everyone

“Positive Living Day by Day” (Norman Vincent Peale) – Short one page devotions designed to lift your spirits. There is no year to the dates, so you can use this book every year.

“Positive Thinking Every Day” (Norman Vincent Peale)  – Inspirational one or two liners for every day.

November 17th – “Be bold, and mighty powers will come to your aid.”

How will you be bold today?  (Standing in line at Walmart for Black Friday deals does not count.)

“Choose Joy Because Happiness Isn’t Enough”  (Kay Warren)

This is a book I have marked up a lot with hi-liter, pen and sticky-notes.  It is very uplifting and heart-warming.  It affirms the thought I had of joy being a deeper emotion than happiness.

“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.” 

(pg 31)

Here is scripture from the beginning of Chapter 6 “Believing Even In Darkness.” May it speak to you today and every day.  

“Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God’s Sunrise will break in upon us, shining on those in the darkness, those sitting in the shadow of death, then showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace. 

Luke 1:78-79 (“The Message” version)

There you have it, my list of books to buy for those on your shopping list. And remember to add one or more for yourself as well.

Weekend Wisdom

Weekend Wisdom: Veterans Day + A Resource For Job Seeking Veterans

Michele Kearns

Thank You to all the veteran’s in my life and those who now reside in heaven. (Dad #1, Dad #2, and Uncle D.)

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.”

Elmer Davis

“Better than honor and glory, and History’s iron pen,
Was the thought of duty done and the love of his fellow-men.”

 Richard Watson Gilder

“America’s veterans have served their country with the belief that democracy and freedom are ideals to be upheld around the world.”

 John Doolittle

Job Search Resource for Veterans

Here is a link to an article about 10 great job resources for veterans compiled by the good folks at Careerealism.com.

(Next post will be Wednesday 11/13 when I link up with Modern Mrs. Darcy.)

 

grief, Unemployment

My 3.5 Year Job Search Journey Part 1

Michele Kearns

Now I know you new readers are thinking “I thought this was a blog about your widowhood adventures?”  It is.  One of my adventures after becoming a widow was experiencing an extended job search.

What I Did In My Previous Life

When Joe passed in March of 2008 I was working as a mortgage collector for a major bank and had been there 12 years. I returned to work after being given 10 days bereavement leave.  It was very difficult to go back but I had to do it. If I had not gone back after the two weeks, I would probably never have returned to the bank.

Weekends during the first year were spent mostly on the couch conserving energy so I had enough to get through the next work week.

How It Came To Pass

I took a week’s vacation at the one-year mark of Joe’s passing.  When I returned to work, I was pulled into a conference room and told to work 2 p.m. – 11 p.m. or take a 6 month severance package ( I had been working 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.) After much prayer, and consultation with family and friends, I took the severance package.

In a conversation with my sister-in-law, I said “I survived the first year of widowhood which was hell, so certainly I can survive unemployment.” She very skeptically said “I don’t know.” She was right, I was wrong. Unemployment almost did what widowhood did not do – kill me.

Confidence During My 3.5 Year Journey

A widows confidence takes a big hit while grieving then combine that with a lack of confidence caused by unemployment and you have recipe for a disaster of Titanic proportions. I began to wonder if I would ever work again or if living under a bridge was my destiny.

My confidence took a hit during job search because of fighting 2 stigmas.

  • The stigma of being a widow.
  • The stigma of being unemployed.

How Society Sees Widows

Widows are seen as invisible and people who do see us treat us as untouchable. At least one of the following 6 statements describe society’s mindset towards widows:

  • You have cooties.
  • You are too “young” to be a widow but “too old” to be hired.
  • We just don’t know and don’t want to know how to help you.
  • You are about to bust up a marriage or a relationship in order to get a man.
  • You are unworthy of help (household or job search) because you are a “young” widow and can do it all.
  • We were only friends with you because we were friends with your husband long before you came into his life.

Huh?!

Finding Confidence

I found confidence in figuring out who I was as a person:

  • Blogger
  • Photographer
  • Book Reader
  • Volunteer (Golden Retrievers In Need; GriefShare Co-Facilitator)

and as a career professional:

  • Loan Officer by day
  • Freelance writer/editor/photographer by night

It was tough figuring out my personal and professional life at the same time. It took a lot of self-reflection about my likes and dislikes.  By no means did I figure it out overnight. Truthfully, there are some days I am not sure I have the professional part of my life figured out.

Faith – My Other Source Of Confidence

My faith got me through my grief journey, so I relied on it to get through my extended unemployment. God blessed me with meeting a lot of people online and offline. I read my Bible, inspirational books, listened to Christian music, and surrounded myself with positive, helpful friends. All of this helped keep me upbeat but I had my down days.  When those days hit, I embraced them and worked through them.

I learned to lean on God and realized He is the only man I need to handle whatever life throws my way.  Yes, someday I might want to be involved in another relationship and marriage, but the need is not there.

Bottom Line

I kept confident during my job search and you can too.

Confidence takes a lot of work …and tartar sauce.           😉

Check back next Tuesday 10/29, for a post about blogging and its impact on my job search.

This Friday, 10/25, there will be a Special Announcement from JoyReturns. See you then!