grief, Joy

“Help Me Make The Music Of The Night”

Twenty-Seven years ago tonight, Joe and I danced to The Music of the Night from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera.

We saw the The Phantom of the Opera in 1992 in Toronto, Canada. He loved it even though his taste in music was not musical theater but Def Leppard, AC/DC, and Depeche Mode.

I decided that the music for our bridal dance had to be something different, something other than a mushy pop love song. So I selected The Music of The Night. Joe loved the idea.

Tonight I will be enjoying an Oreo Cheesecake Blizzard from Dairy Queen as my quiet celebration of a wonderful, joyous event that happened 27 years ago.

Sarah Brightman as Christine and Michael Crawford as the Phantom (Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals YouTube Channel)

You alone can make my song take flight.

The Music of the Night by Andrew Lloyd Webber / Charles Hart / Richard Stilgoe
June 19th, 1993

For 14 3/4 years we made each other’s song take flight as we helped each other make our own music of the night.

Thank you my dear Joe for the honor of being your wife.

I will always love you.

Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her widowhood adventures hoping to encourage widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. A graduate of Kent State University with a Bachelor’s degree in communications, she’s used those skills while managing call center teams, co-facilitating a grief support group, and helping small businesses with various writing and administrative assignments. Michele is a bookworm, and a lover of history, chocolate, red roses, and golden retrievers. She is also the amateur photographer behind the blog

Weekend Wisdom

Anniversary Post: Michele The Prophet

On this the 6th anniversary of Joe’s passing, I thought I would share our house hunting adventure and my prophecy.

In The Beginning 

The beginning started in March 1999 after 7 years of apartment dwelling, where we heard our upstairs neighbor’s headboard rapidly banging against the wall several nights a week.

Every Saturday we were out with our realtor and every Sunday we went to open houses. Joe was the driver and I was the navigator as we decided to move to a new city.

This went on for months.

At one point I told Joe if we were not in a house by New Year’s Eve, he could house hunt for himself in 2000 because I was staying in the apartment.  I saw several houses that would have made wonderful homes, but they were unacceptable according to Joe’s standards.


Early one July Saturday morning we looked at a 3 bedroom ranch with a covered deck and a big back yard, perfect for a dog. After the showing we stood in the driveway and our realtor asked if we wanted to go write a contract. I said “Yes!” However Joe said “We’ve not eaten yet, so let us go have breakfast and discuss it.” UGH!  I wanted to strangle him right then and there. To the local Denny’s for breakfast, we went. It was during the middle of breakfast at Denny’s Joe called and set up an appointment for us to sit down and write a contract. It was accepted and we finally had our first house.

Fast Forward To Sometime After Taking Possession

Shortly after we moved in I mention something about this being our first and last home. He said “You mean, you do not want to build a big, new home someday?”

I told him “No!”  “If you want to move into a big, new home, you are moving in with another Mrs. Kearns because this one is staying put right here.”

Fast Forward to 2008 Six years ago today Joe moved into his big, new house in heaven.  He now resides with several Mrs. Kearns’ – his mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and all the Mrs. Kearns’ prior to them, while I stay put here in this 3 bedroom ranch with Rommie.

Hmmmmmmm…Sounds like a prophecy fulfilled to me.


Writing Through Pain

Wedding Anniversary #18 would have been this Sunday. 

This fact started beating up my mental self this past Sunday.  I went to an art show at an outdoor mall and stopped at a restaurant on the way home.  While eating my burger, I started to get teary-eyed.  It was all I could do to finish my burger, lemonade, pay the bill and get out of there. 

Three Years

It has been three years since Joe moved to heaven and it upsets me that our anniversary is affecting me in such a painful way.  In my opinion I should just feel a little sad instead of all this pain.

Hopefully getting these thoughts and feelings down on paper will help me deal with pain, loneliness and a longing for the little things.

It’s Back 

Yes, the longing for the little things such as hand holding, the good night kiss, and cuddling while watching movies together is back.   The intensity of the longing after three years amazes me.  

Good Things

Life has not been all bad this week.  There have been several good things happen:

  • We had a good discussion today at the local job seekers group. 
  • My on-line career chat friends and I had good discussions Monday & today.
  • A good friend emailed me that Monday’s slideshow put a big grin on his face. 
  • I mailed out a few thank you cards to show my appreciation to people that have impacted my life.

There Is Always Hope

Hope that the rest of the week will be filled with numerous good things.

May the remainder of your week also be filled with good things and joyous people with whom you can share those things.