What Faithful Finish Lines Meant To Me

(Author’s Note: Sorry for the bad spacing at the end of today’s post. WordPress and I are not getting along today.  The post looks beautiful when I go in and edit it but once I update it all the spacing between lines and paragraphs goes away.)

Sara asked me to write one more post about what the Faithful Finish Lines (online faith and fitness program) meant to me. While reviewing my participation in this fitness program, I came up with 3 words –

Acceptance, Grace, Community


Sara, Jill and fellow team members accepted me as I am, just like God does.

I started this faith, fitness, eating and mission program with a pulled muscle behind my left knee. Everyone understood and accepted that fact. I worked on my upper body and gently and gradually exercised the lower body, but did not push beyond what was comfortable.


I think everyone failed the weekly eating goals at least once. When we did, just like God, there was no shame, condemnation or keeping track of past failures. Our sins were washed white as snow.

On Monday of sugar week, I had a piece of turtle cheesecake with decaf coffee. Ooooppppssss! However, I cut back on sugar the rest of the week. So I made progress in reducing sugar instead of eliminating it – and progress is progress.

Every time I slipped up on the goals, I fell forward into arm’s full of grace and forgiveness.


When you become a widow, some or all of your friends, family and/or your late husband’s friend’s and family will up and vanish like a fart in the wind. (Shawshank Redemption) There goes your community.

But not with this group. We knew we needed one another as we were all going through something. Community kept us going from day-to-day and week to week, whether it was participation in weekly Facebook chats, commenting on status updates in the group, or teaming up with a prayer partner. New friendships formed. We all had (and still have) each other’s back. It did not matter that I was a widow these ladies were here for me with prayers, articles and words of encouragement.

One week I had trouble printing my resume from Word (not a good thing when you are in-between jobs) and one of the women posted an article that helped me troubleshoot and fix the problem.

Final Thought

My first year of widowhood I sat around on weekends barely doing anything. I was storing up enough energy to make it through the next work week. I wished I had access to this type of community support during that time, as I needed someone to push me to move more and to help me get back into life.

Selly Sell

Looking to get in shape during the new year?

Join this program.

There are no special dietary requirements, no strict exercise routine, no calorie counting and no weigh-ins.

It is an affordable program you will stick with and there are several levels, one to fit every budget.

Click the link below:

coupon code: FFLJan2015
  • With this code, you get a $10 off discount for any program.
  • I will get $5 off (free month) for every new person who uses the code and puts my name or blog name for referral.


New program runs January 5th-February 21st, 2015
Sign-up Deadline: Saturday, January 3rd, 2015
I am continuing with this program.
So please join me inside the Facebook group for the next 7 weeks.
Why wouldn’t you want to join a fitness program that is full of acceptance, grace and community?
*Disclaimer: I was given free access to the Faithful Finish Lines program with the promise of blogging about my experience. I am not receiving payment of any other form and the opinions are mine alone.

2020 Disclaimer: If you just found this post, I am no longer an active participant in the program as I am working on cutting Facebook out of my life.  Also this program has been revamped and is now Faithful Finish Lines 2.0 and is a membership program with a monthly fee. 


How To Charm A Widow

Author’s Note: I stumbled upon a neat site called Wordtracker.com. 

After inputting the word “grief”, it gave me a list of 100 questions that people have been attempting to find answer for on the web. 

I also did the same with the word “widow.”  Boy did that search yield some interesting questions involving vibrators. 

Needless to say I have numerous topics for blog posts. 

Here is the first one:

“How To Charm A Widow”

The “charming” philosophy of “Show Up”, Tell The Truth” and “Have Fun” is borrowed from a friend.  However, the definitions of each category are my own.

“Charmed, I’m Sure”

  • Show Up – When you are in the company of a widow be attentive, really listen, be an active participant in the conversation.  
  • Ask To Hear Her Story – You will learn a lot about her by discovering what she has been through. (Do not do this on the first date.)
  • Tell The Truth – Don’t hide your emotions and feelings.  There is no room for a “Cold-Hearted Snake.”
  • Have Fun – Be able to do this without the need for alcohol, vibrators, or “Wildwood Weed.”
  • Enjoy The Little Things – movie night, walks in the park, or just sitting on a porch swing talking.
  • Be Polite – open doors, saying please and thank you, and treating her with respect.
  • Be Spontaneous – Send flowers for no reason.
  • Be Romantic – Watch chick flicks together, go on picnics or dance under the stars.
  • Be Passionate About Life – Including being passionate about your work.
  • Don’t Be A Tightwad – After all you are unable to take your money with you when you die.
  • Don’t Be A Big Spender – While you are unable to take it with you, you also need to be responsible.

All of the above apply to “charming” any woman.  However, there are two other very important characteristics needed when “charming” a widow – especially this widow.


Accept the following:

  • I did not become a millionaire when Joe died.  If I did, I would not be job searching.
  • I will never stop loving or missing Joe.  Although I am able to move forward with my life, we were married just shy of 15 years.  I am unable to love someone that long and forget about them acting like they never existed.  But should you die first, you will also have a forever place in my heart.
  • Besides inheriting my biological family, you inherit Joe’s family.  They will be included in special occasions and holiday celebrations.  They are still and always will be a part of my life.
  • I will be buried with Joe.  The headstone is already done.   I made a promise to his brother that I would be buried with him and I will keep that promise.

If you are unable to accept these facts, then “Hit The Road Jack.”


It has been 19 ½ years since the last time I went on a “first” date.  While dating again sounds nice, it does freak me out a little bit.  Guess I spent too many years watching the “Law and Order” franchise, particularly “SVU”.

I will not rush into a relationship.  I need to take it slow and steady in order to see if there is even potential for a relationship.

Once again if you are not willing to take it slow and steady “Hit The Road Jack.”

The Best Advice.

Just be yourself.  If she is not “charmed” by you being yourself, then she’s just not that into you.  Don’t force something that is not there.