Category Archives: Resources

The Only Resource for “Discovering Love Online” (review)

Preparing Yourself For The Adventure

So you’ve decided to take the plunge and enter the world of online dating but have heard horror stories from friends and family that would cause Stephen King to have nightmares. Plus you do not know where to begin as there are so many dating sites your head spins like a merry-go-round.

Discovering Love Online: Love May Be Closer Than You Think: (Find the Love of Your Life Through Online Dating) by [Miller, Chuck]

Then Discovering Love Online, Love May Be Closer Than You Think by Chuck Miller is the practical resource you need in preparing for an enjoyable, successful adventure. In addition to his online dating experience, which led to him find his current wife Deb, Chuck was a singles ministry director for a number of years. His book is not only based on experience but a lot of research as well.

Chuck takes the guesswork out of what to do and where to begin. He does this by assuming you know nothing so he covers the basics, including grooming, manners, first impressions, and where to go on dates among numerous other topics.

He has a Master of Divinity degree so his Christian faith is mentioned throughout the book. Miller explains how his beliefs apply to dating and why his conservative values will help you when it comes time to meet someone in person.

While the book is filled with advice about online dating, it is also filled with age-old adages that are still true.

Where Do I Begin?

You begin at the very beginning with the age-old adage:

“Know Thy Self.”

Socrates

Because how can you know what to look for in a spouse if you do not know who you are, what you like and what your goals are in life. Part of this process may include personality assessments and even considering the advantages and disadvantages of staying single. There is nothing wrong with staying single as God designed everyone differently.

Part of the process of knowing yourself is determining your list of non-negotiables. These are items that are deal makers or breakers.

For example, potential non-negotiables could include: faith, whether someone is an animal lover, the political party they are affiliated with, are they a smoker or a drinker, and do they believe in tipping the pizza driver well.

This is just a partial list what could be non-negotiables. Your list of non-negotiable items will be different from anyone else’s since we are all unique individuals.

Paid vs Free

Another age-old adage that is still true today is:

You get what you pay for.

Chuck provides a brief summary and pros and cons, starting with Chemistry and ending with Zoosk, to help you determine which one is right for you. He does recommend choosing a paid site because people on those sites tend to be looking for long-term relationships.

Without passing judgment, the clientele on paid services tend to be more earnest in their efforts and more thorough and accurate in creating their profiles. I’ve experienced it first hand and so have many others seeking love online.

Chuck Miller
Discovering Love Online, Love May Be Closer Than You Think
pg 47


This is the person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Once you’ve chosen a site, Chuck even tells you how to set up a winning profile. This includes what information to share and what not to share, photograph advice, answering questionnaires, and storytelling advice for your profile summary.

It is true today as it ever has been:

Honesty is the best policy.

There is no room for embellishment or flat out lying in your profile. It will come back to haunt you at some point in time. Be honest in who you are and what you do.

Also, he mentions that incomplete profiles are also not acceptable. Photo’s need to be there and be current, profile questions answered and basic information filled in.

Your dating profile is your online dating resume. You may wince and groan, but it is true. “Interviews” are granted based on the information contained in your profile. So if you do not want to end up in the shred pile, fill out your profile completely.

Not Just For Scouts

Chuck admits there are risks involved in meeting people you met online and encourages you to be extremely careful selecting people to meet offline.

However, he acknowledges these risks apply to people you are introduced to by friends, family or that you meet in the produce section or any other public place.

He also gives you tips on what to look for to determine a possible unsavory character whether they intend to take your money, cause physical or emotional harm.

So whether you choose online dating or meeting someone the old fashioned way –

Be Prepared.

Be prepared for anything. Have friends or family at the same coffee shop if you choose to meet there. You can never be too careful.

The Tip of the Iceberg

This is just a tiny bit of advice covered in Discovering Love Online. This book will help prepare you to find that special someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

Chuck did a wonderful job combining his faith, age-old adages, and advice in his book. I highly recommend this book if you or anyone you know are considering online dating. If you have any questions, his information is listed below.

Doubting Thomas?

Still not sure if this book is for you? Then check out The Do’s and Don’t of Successful Online Dating –  FREE through Valentine’s Day. It is a 38-page Kindle booklet that will help jump-start your search, give you an idea of the author’s writing style and information that you will find in Discovering Love Online. $2.99 through Valentine’s Day (Kindle).

Additional Resources

Website: Discovering Love Online

Propeller Cap, LLC | Independent Publishing With A Unique Spin

Blog: Discovering Love Online

Chuck’s Amazon Author’s page

The Legal Stuff

Author’s Note: Chuck Miller and I met when he attended GriefShare after his first wife’s death. I’ve seen him go from mourning to joy and that joy includes finding his current wife Deb (an absolute sweetheart) via online dating.

Disclaimer: I purchased the Kindle version and was given a free autographed copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. All links are non-affiliate.

Widows: A Problem or A Calling?

 

My friend Ferree, from WidowsChristianPlace.com, posted One Widows Story: Widowhood Is Not A Mere Problem To Solve an article written by Lynda, one of Ferree’s Facebook friends.

The article tells the story about Lynda reading The Undistracted Widow, Living For God After Losing Your Husband by Carol W. Cornish. The book shed new light on being a widow – it is not a problem, but a calling. 

Wow! I understand that Joe’s timeline ended and mine did not, however I would have never used the word “calling” to describe being a widow. Calling is what happens to men and women who become pastors.

I was intrigued by the concept, and used my Amazon gift card from last Christmas to order the book. (Yes, it is mid-April and I still have an Amazon gift card from last Christmas.)

Appendix 2

Once it arrived I looked at the table of contents and was intrigued by Appendix 2 – The Local Church and Its Widows. Ms. Cornish nails the topic and opened my eyes to a different way of seeing churches (more on that later).

I’ve since started reading from the beginning and a full review of The Undistracted Widow will be published once I finish it.

A Nun Named Maria

Are you a nun named Maria?

Me neither.

Then we are not a problems to be solved.

For some reason we were called to be widows, called for such a time as this. Now how are we going to glorify God in this season of our lives?

And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Esther 4:14

(ESV)

 

 

 

A Review: Social Media Explained by Mark W. Schaefer

I entered a contest through an email for a chance to win a copy of “Social Media Explained, Untangling the World’s Most Misunderstood Business Trend.”  Well I won, which means there is a little piece of hell freezing over because I don’t normally win contests.

I agreed to let Mark know what I thought of the book. After reading it, I got this post 3/4 done when life got in the way. I am sorry Mark for not finishing this sooner.

So without further adieu, here is my opinion of Mark Schaefer’s book.

“Social Media Explained”

Suffering from grief deciding if you should use Social Media?

Suffering from grief because of a social media plan gone bonkers?

Then Mark W. Schaefer’s book “Social Media Explained, Untangling the World’s Most Misunderstood Business Trend” is for you. 

At 133 pages, this book is a quick easy read and packed full of valuable information.

The book is divided into 3 sections:

  • The Five Most Important Things You Need to Know about Social Media Marketing.
  • The Five Most Difficult Questions You’ll Face.
  • A Social Media Primer.

In these three sections you will find everything you need to know about social media presented in a clear and concise manner. Schaefer covers why you should use social media, content being a revolution, the dreaded “Should and/or how do we measure social media?”, how to handle negative comments, and where to start with social media.

He also tells you what makes a good Community Manager, because larger companies will need this person.

I was so blown away by what I was learning that I emailed the owner of the marketing company I do freelance work for and told her to get this book since she trains her clients on social media.

The information in this book applies to large and small businesses and can be adapted to job search as well.  After all a job seeker is a business of one trying to sell his or her skills to a new client (employer).

Not only does Mark explain social media but he includes a story about how a business client used this information to reignite a stagnant relationship with a business client.

Whether you are a small, medium or large company, get this book before you dive into social media.  If you are already social, this book will help you improve your game.

Thanks Mark for writing a book about social media that anyone can understand and for selecting me a recipient of a copy.

For more information check out Mark’s other books “The Tao of Twitter” and “Return On Influence” and for my fellow bloggers “Born to Blog: Building Your Blog for Personal and Business Success One Post At A Time.”

Weekend Wisdom: “Empty” by Cherie Hill

I am reading “empty., Living Full of Faith When Life Drains you Dry” by Cherie Hill. (Kindle $2.99/Paperback $7.16 as of this writing.)  It is about the woman at the well‘s encounter with Jesus and how it applies to our lives when we are feeling empty.

Ms. Hill’s book is powerful and digs deep into the reason we:

  • struggle working our way through grief,
  • feel something is missing in our marriage,
  • despair over any other problems that engulf us.

I am only on Chapter 4 but felt I needed to get some quotes and scripture out to you in the form of “Weekend Wisdom.” There will be more posts about this book as soon as I am done reading it and have a chance to drink in Ms. Hills words.

Quotes:

“although difficult to imagine, physical pain can sometimes be easier to endure than the ongoing anguish of loneliness, rejection, loss, and failures.”  (Chapter 1)

“We’re empty because we’re more concerned about “feeling” better than finding God.” (Chapter 1)

“Emptiness is not the end, it’s the beginning. (Chapter 1)

“We fail, miserably, to grasp the fact that only God can supply what our soul most deeply desires.” (Chapter 3)

“We, just like the woman at the well, don’t realize that what we’re really yearning or is an encounter with God.” (Chapter 3)

Scripture:

“…or God gives the Spirit without limit.” – John 3:34 (NIV)

“Whoever believes in  me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” – John 7:38 (NIV)

“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them.  People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT  (Chapter 3)

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”  Romans 8:6 NIV (Chapter 3)

For Widows Only?

This book is appropriate for widows, or anyone experiencing any of life’s nasty events.

Call To Action

Don’t wait for my review – go buy this book now!  Have a pen, notebook, and hi-lighter handy as you will need them when you read it.

Closing Thought

“Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis (Chapter 3)

3 Books Michele Reads Daily (Well Almost)

There are 3 books that I read daily (sometimes I run a day or two behind). Now these books are great for everyone not just widows. So whether you are grieving or tackling one of life’s other nasty events, pick up one or all 3 and dive in. These books bring me comfort and encouragement and help maintain a positive outlook.

May you find comfort and encouragement as well.

The 2nd Time Around

Positive Living Day By Day – Norman Vincent Peale (Guideposts – New York, New York)

I used this daily devotional last year and am using it again this year.  Each day has Scripture followed by a devotion by Dr. Peale. I dare you to be discouraged after spending a year reading and meditating on each devotion. Dr. Peale’s writing is authentic and practical and will be for years to come.

It is one of those books filled with pen, hi-liter and sticky notes. Not only do I have it in paperback but it is also on my Kindle, so whenever I am in need of encouragement, this book is there.

The 1st Time

Positive Thinking Every Day – Norman Vincent Peale, Designed by Hyun Joo Kim, (Simon and Schuster)

I added this book this year since I loved Dr. Peale’s other book. You read one page per day containing 1 or 2 sentences which will give you inspiration for your day or give you a quick pick up at lunch. This book would be perfect for someone in their first year of grief, since each day’s thought is short and sweet. During the first year you do not need anything that requires a lot of thought.

This book is also on my Kindle and will be used every year.

Time For Joy

Choosing Joy, A 52-Week Devotional for Discovering True Happiness – Angela Thomas (Howard Books)

I started this book around April or May of this year. It is grounded in scripture. There is a devotion for Monday – Thursday and then 1 for the weekend (Friday – Sunday). Angela’s writing is also very positive and uplifting. I am enjoying this book and combined with Dr Peale’s books, these 3 are a great way to start each day. This one is not on my Kindle – at least not yet.

Bonus Book

NIV New International Version Holy Bible (Zondervan)

I do not have a particular reading plan but refer to it when I want to read the context surrounding a verse from “Positive Living Day By Day.”  Plus I will read the scripture that our pastor is using for his weekly sermon.  Although I soon may start reading the book of Ephesians. Yes, this too is on my Kindle.

I Hope

I hope you will make at least one of these books a part of your daily reading.

May God bless you with a joy filled day.

(Coming next Tuesday – How Michele Gets A Good Night’s Sleep)

(Disclaimer: I did not nor do I receive any compensation for any links in my posts.)

“Searching For Unicorns” – A Review of “Why Good People Can’t Get Jobs”

 “Why Good People Can’t Get Jobs” 

“The Skills Gap and What Companies Can Do About It”

By Peter Cappelli

Mr. Peter Cappelli makes explains why good people can’t get jobs in 6 chapters covering just 89 pages, with the information being well researched.

Since Peter Cappelli is the George W. Taylor Professor of Management at The Wharton School and Director of Wharton’s Center for Human Resources, people take what he says seriously but when those in transition say it, they are called whiners.

“Your Never Gonna See No Unicorns”

In his book, he mentions what job seekers have known for a long time.  Employers are

“searching for unicorns – “perfect” fits for what are often imperfectly described and listed jobs.

(page 79) 

Several jobs are often combined into one with the applicant expecting to know software required to do all the jobs.  Even if there is only one vacancy, companies include all the necessary expertise into the job description making it harder for any applicant to be a perfect fit.

Mythbuster

There are numerous myths busted in his book, including the “skills gap” and the “not enough college graduates” myths.  He also examines the hiring process and all its flaws including applicant tracking systems.

Solutions

Not only does Mr. Cappelli explain the problems, he also provides solutions. However the solutions require cooperation from corporate America.

The question is will corporate America listen and act upon Mr. Cappelli’s suggestions?  

So Much

It was hard trying to figure out what to put in this post.  There is so much valuable information I could write blog posts for at least a week and quite possibly longer.

Please get this book and when done reading it, pass it on.  People need to understand why good people are unable to get jobs.

Thank You

Thank you Peter Cappelli for giving credibility to what us job-seekers have known all along but were never taken seriously.

Hopefully what you have said will not fall on deaf ears. 

Bob’s 28 Day Challenge

Bob  is a Career Development Specialist – until Friday when he retires and starts a new chapter in life.

During Monday’s “Coffee Talk” at the local library, he spoke about the things he learned along the way.  It was a fascinating speech filled with wonderful lessons.

Some of the items mentioned in his speech that job seekers need to do are:

  • Stand Out
  • Take Risk
  • Get through the grief of losing your job
  • Write a well thought out thank you note after sending a thank you email to your interviewer.

However, it was his 28 day challenge that resonated the most with me and I decided to share it with you.

Bob’s 28 Day Challenge

This challenge will work whether you are grieving the loss of  your job, your spouse or your self-esteem is shot because of various other reasons.

  • Get a notebook and keep it along with a pen beside your bed.
  • When you get up in the morning, pick 2 POSITIVE traits about you and write each one in your journal 5 times.
  • Repeat just before going to bed.
  • The next day pick 2 different positives about you and write those 5 times in your notebook. (you can pick the same traits as the day before if you want.)
  • Repeat this process for 28 days.

His Offer

When speaking to job seekers he offers to buy anyone lunch if this process does not help them after 28 days.

He has never had to buy anyone lunch either because:

  • They were afraid to admit they did not do the challenge.
  • Because it worked.

Get Ready

Today is the 26th, so you have the rest of today and 4 more days to get your notebook and pen ready for October 1st.

Do it for 28 days and see how your self-esteem improves and how your joy returns.

A  Thank You Note

Thank you Bob for helping those in transition.

All God’s best to you and your family. 

Enjoy your ride into the sunrise of the next chapter of life. 

« Older Entries