Category: Joy

Faith, grief, Joy, Joyful Life

In The Beginning

Michele Kearns

Welcome to the Bloganuary challenge where WordPress bloggers are encouraged and challenged to post every day. Doing so gets us off to a good start in developing a writing habit, something my regular readers know I need.

Also, check out my photo blog OgleOhio, as I will also be publishing there too.

Since there are a lot of new readers, it is best to recap what happened and why my blog exists.

JoyReturns was never intended to be telling of the gory details of Joe’s final months, but an acknowledgement that the man I love, moved to heaven. While he is gone, I am still here. Therefore, my story has not ended. If you are a widow, neither does your story.

JoyReturns is where I share my adventures moving forward with life, so what I do or don’t do inspires other widows as they rebuild their life.

While this blog is written for widows, any grieving person can be inspired to move forward with life after loss. It is the best way to honor your loved one – take their love with you as you rebuild your life.

Mashup

This post is a mashup (with some tweaks) of Why JoyReturns? and How My Journey Began, both of which can be found on my Start Here page.

It was March 2008 when my husband Joe died after suffering a stroke at the base of the brain.  It was totally unexpected.  He was in great spirits upon visiting him after work the night before. Then early the next morning the stroke occurred on both sides of the brain.

Thus began my journey through grief.

It was not a planned journey but once it began, I decided to do the work necessary to make it through to the end.

My Journey Ended…Or Did It?

About October or November 2009, it dawned on me I was maybe about 98 – 99% through my grief.  Now the grief might have left sooner, it just took me until late 2009 to realize it.

My moment of realization was wonderful.  It felt like the sun had burned off most of the fog in my head, leaving me feeling more alert, alive and ready to take on life. 

I will never make it completely through grief because it will re-surface, like a sea creature from the deep, to participate in special family moments.  But moments are all they will be and they will be successfully managed.  Joy and pain do co-exist and those moments are bittersweet.

While searching “widow’s website” on Google, I found websites were 3-D – dark, dreary and depressing. One site was designed with a dark look because the light had gone out of the widow’s life.

Xtreme mental anguish overcame me when Joe passed and common sense told me other widows were experiencing the same anguish, so how was a “woe is me” site going to help widows?

Also widows on these sites were telling all the details of their spouses passing and if I had printed their story, I would have ended up with a book thicker than Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace. YUCK!  I do not have time to read their TMI stories either online or on paper nor do I want to know all the details of someone’s passing.

 I wanted to know how to recover from grief and move forward with life and so do other people.

Support Group’s Role

My church runs Church Initiative’s Griefshare program which I attended after Joe died and co-facilitated for several years. The program’s tagline is “From Mourning to Joy”. 

It is because of that tagline and the 3D websites that I decided to incorporate joy into my blog’s title. 

When people visit  I want them to see a cheery, optimistic site that lets them know joy does return to the lives of those who are grieving, but you need to decide you want joy to return (there are people who prefer to stay stuck in grief) and you have to work at it.

Joy returned to my life and it will to yours or your loved one’s too. Just like the crocus’ pushing through the winter-hardened ground. You too will push through grief and experience joy once again.

For his anger lasts only a moment,

    but his favor lasts a lifetime!

Weeping may last through the night,

    but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:5
New Living Translation (NLT)

Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her adventures hoping to inspire widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. Michele is the amateur photographer behind the blog OgleOhio.com.

grief, Joy, Joyful Life

What You Will Find On JoyReturns

Michele Kearns

Sorry there was no Weekend Wisdom last weekend but I’ve been doing some reflecting about my life and this blog. Today I want to explain the type of content you will find on JoyReturns, not many changes ahead as if it isn’t broke don’t fix it.

In order to fulfill my vision for JoyReturns ( “…That henceforth I may be the salt of the earth and a blessing to all.”) my blog posts will consist of inspiring, encouraging and/or educational content for widows. The posts will be gentle reminders to move forward through their grief journey and build a new life for themselves.

One of the best pieces of writing advice is “write what you know.” I know:

  • grief
  • the Bible
  • unemployment
  • learning new things (blogging)
  • rediscovering a lost love (photography)
  • the return of joy
  • living the joyful life

Posts about those experiences will be covered here on JoyReturns since I have gone through them. While my posts are geared towards widows, the advice may resonate with others grieving a different loss or society in general. If so, then that is wonderful.

Inspirational Source

Some of the inspiration and encouragement will come from the Bible as it is the single best source I have found for my me and my fellow widows. Yes, there are other books that are good and from time to time I will mention them.

Special Series

Occasionally you will find special series here on JoyReturns. For example, I am committing to bringing back The 40 Days of Joy series this Christmas. It will start on November 23 and end on December 31 of this year. Since the 23rd is 10 months from this Saturday, I better got crackin’ on putting it together. You will find poems, quotes, recipes, scripture, gift ideas and encouraging new content from me.

Also, I am considering a special series for Lent.

Oh and Weekend Wisdom (uplifting quotes, poems or scripture) will continue unless interrupted by a special series.

This is the type of content you can expect on JoyReturns for the foreseeable future.

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

I appreciate you reading JoyReturns and thank you for your continued support. I hope you will continue to stop by and that you find joy in the content.

God Bless You and Your Family.

Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her widowhood adventures hoping to inspire widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. A graduate of Kent State University with a Bachelor’s degree in communications, she’s currently using those skills as a virtual logistics contact center representative. She’s also managed call center teams, co-facilitated a grief support group, and helped small businesses with various writing assignments. Michele is a bookworm, and a lover of music, chocolate, red roses, and golden retrievers. She is also the amateur photographer behind the blog OgleOhio.com.

grief, Joy

10th Birthday!

Michele Kearns

When my first blog post went live 10 years ago today, I was not sure JoyReturns would be around to celebrate 1 year let alone ten. In fact, I was skeptical it would last six months.

Well, here we are 10 years later. Pretty good for someone who always thought her writing stunk because of it’s casual tone. God gifted me with the ability to write informally because He knew I would become a blogger. Writing about grief does not need to be done in a formal, stuffy manner like CEO’s, lawyers and other business professionals.

JoyReturns started as a way to provide encouragement to widows that their joy would return and to support them as they journeyed through grief. The best way for me to do help them was to share my adventures as I worked through grief, unemployment and whatever else came my way. Hopefully, not only would my readers be encouraged by my journey but they would get a laugh or two.

Also, I hoped sharing my adventures would show society widows do move forward with life and that we are not scary creatures with cooties.

God used my words to reach people in 165 countries and I was privileged to hear from widows about how they found the inspiration to move forward with building a new life. Other people reached out about how I gave them a better understanding of widowhood and how to help their friends and/or family members that were suddenly widowed.

So thank you God for how you have used JoyReturns so I could accomplish my vision

 “…That henceforth I may be the salt of the earth and a blessing to all.”

Regeneration – prayer from The Valley Of Vision, A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions – edited by Arthur Bennett

In 10 years the world has drastically changed. I do not understand the world and will not try to figure it out but simply turn it over to God. He is still on His throne and still in charge – Hallelujah!

Last year, I was planning on a big blowout of a party. However, with all the insanity of 2020 carrying over into 2021, it will just be a quiet night with a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

What does the future hold for JoyReturns, that remains to be seen. God whispered in my year “widow’s website” early one morning, so I am praying for God’s guidance. Nothing I thought of last year, newsletter, podcast, printables etc seemed right.

I will republish older posts in addition to Weekend Wisdom and new content.

Whatever comes our way this year, God willing I will still be pursuing my vision of being both the salt of the earth and a blessing to all.

Thank you my dear friends for coming on this journey with me. Your friendship these past 10 years means more than you know.

Have a joy-filled day and remember:

For his anger lasts only a moment,

    but his favor lasts a lifetime;

Rainbow Over Woods Behind House – June 2008 (photo by Michele Kearns)

weeping may stay for the night,

    but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5 (New International Version)

Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her widowhood adventures hoping to inspire widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. A graduate of Kent State University with a Bachelor’s degree in communications, she’s currently using those skills as a virtual logistics contact center representative. She’s also managed call center teams, co-facilitated a grief support group, and helped small businesses with various writing assignments. Michele is a bookworm, and a lover of history, music, chocolate, red roses, and golden retrievers. She is also the amateur photographer behind the blog OgleOhio.com.