Author Archives: Michele Kearns

The Only Resource for “Discovering Love Online” (review)

Preparing Yourself For The Adventure

So you’ve decided to take the plunge and enter the world of online dating but have heard horror stories from friends and family that would cause Stephen King to have nightmares. Plus you do not know where to begin as there are so many dating sites your head spins like a merry-go-round.

Discovering Love Online: Love May Be Closer Than You Think: (Find the Love of Your Life Through Online Dating) by [Miller, Chuck]

Then Discovering Love Online, Love May Be Closer Than You Think by Chuck Miller is the practical resource you need in preparing for an enjoyable, successful adventure. In addition to his online dating experience, which led to him find his current wife Deb, Chuck was a singles ministry director for a number of years. His book is not only based on experience but a lot of research as well.

Chuck takes the guesswork out of what to do and where to begin. He does this by assuming you know nothing so he covers the basics, including grooming, manners, first impressions, and where to go on dates among numerous other topics.

He has a Master of Divinity degree so his Christian faith is mentioned throughout the book. Miller explains how his beliefs apply to dating and why his conservative values will help you when it comes time to meet someone in person.

While the book is filled with advice about online dating, it is also filled with age-old adages that are still true.

Where Do I Begin?

You begin at the very beginning with the age-old adage:

“Know Thy Self.”

Socrates

Because how can you know what to look for in a spouse if you do not know who you are, what you like and what your goals are in life. Part of this process may include personality assessments and even considering the advantages and disadvantages of staying single. There is nothing wrong with staying single as God designed everyone differently.

Part of the process of knowing yourself is determining your list of non-negotiables. These are items that are deal makers or breakers.

For example, potential non-negotiables could include: faith, whether someone is an animal lover, the political party they are affiliated with, are they a smoker or a drinker, and do they believe in tipping the pizza driver well.

This is just a partial list what could be non-negotiables. Your list of non-negotiable items will be different from anyone else’s since we are all unique individuals.

Paid vs Free

Another age-old adage that is still true today is:

You get what you pay for.

Chuck provides a brief summary and pros and cons, starting with Chemistry and ending with Zoosk, to help you determine which one is right for you. He does recommend choosing a paid site because people on those sites tend to be looking for long-term relationships.

Without passing judgment, the clientele on paid services tend to be more earnest in their efforts and more thorough and accurate in creating their profiles. I’ve experienced it first hand and so have many others seeking love online.

Chuck Miller
Discovering Love Online, Love May Be Closer Than You Think
pg 47


This is the person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Once you’ve chosen a site, Chuck even tells you how to set up a winning profile. This includes what information to share and what not to share, photograph advice, answering questionnaires, and storytelling advice for your profile summary.

It is true today as it ever has been:

Honesty is the best policy.

There is no room for embellishment or flat out lying in your profile. It will come back to haunt you at some point in time. Be honest in who you are and what you do.

Also, he mentions that incomplete profiles are also not acceptable. Photo’s need to be there and be current, profile questions answered and basic information filled in.

Your dating profile is your online dating resume. You may wince and groan, but it is true. “Interviews” are granted based on the information contained in your profile. So if you do not want to end up in the shred pile, fill out your profile completely.

Not Just For Scouts

Chuck admits there are risks involved in meeting people you met online and encourages you to be extremely careful selecting people to meet offline.

However, he acknowledges these risks apply to people you are introduced to by friends, family or that you meet in the produce section or any other public place.

He also gives you tips on what to look for to determine a possible unsavory character whether they intend to take your money, cause physical or emotional harm.

So whether you choose online dating or meeting someone the old fashioned way –

Be Prepared.

Be prepared for anything. Have friends or family at the same coffee shop if you choose to meet there. You can never be too careful.

The Tip of the Iceberg

This is just a tiny bit of advice covered in Discovering Love Online. This book will help prepare you to find that special someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

Chuck did a wonderful job combining his faith, age-old adages, and advice in his book. I highly recommend this book if you or anyone you know are considering online dating. If you have any questions, his information is listed below.

Doubting Thomas?

Still not sure if this book is for you? Then check out The Do’s and Don’t of Successful Online Dating –  FREE through Valentine’s Day. It is a 38-page Kindle booklet that will help jump-start your search, give you an idea of the author’s writing style and information that you will find in Discovering Love Online. $2.99 through Valentine’s Day (Kindle).

Additional Resources

Website: Discovering Love Online

Propeller Cap, LLC | Independent Publishing With A Unique Spin

Blog: Discovering Love Online

Chuck’s Amazon Author’s page

The Legal Stuff

Author’s Note: Chuck Miller and I met when he attended GriefShare after his first wife’s death. I’ve seen him go from mourning to joy and that joy includes finding his current wife Deb (an absolute sweetheart) via online dating.

Disclaimer: I purchased the Kindle version and was given a free autographed copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. All links are non-affiliate.

2019 Word and Bible Verse

Word

My Word for the Year is Hope. (You can get your word of the year here from DaySpring.

Instead of defining hope as some wishy, washy feeling, I will take a cue from Ann Voskamp and use this definition –

Part of the reason I dread the holidays is for at least 5 years, each year was worse than the last one. Major events happened such as unemployment, being rear-ended, and 2 broken washers among other issues. It’s been a fight to pay basic bills and put food on the table.

However, 2018 was the first year I can say was not worse than the previous one. So this year I am going into 2019 with hope and confidence that it will be even more wonderful than 2018.

The main goal of 2019 is to strengthen and deepen my relationship with God and developing a defiant reliance on God keeping His Word will cause everything else – mental self, physical self, family & friends, career, finances, physical surroundings, hobbies & recreation – to fall into place.

Bible Verse

My verse of the year is:

It seems appropriate for someone who is trying to strengthen and deepen her relationship with God. I will be meditating on this verse a lot this year.

So come along with me as we journey into 2019. It is going to be a grand and glorious year. I will periodically keep you updated on my adventures.

My publishing schedule for 2019 is:

  • Book Review mid-January.
  • Possible book review mid-March.
  • Life update mid-May
  • Life update mid-September
  • Thankgiving card in November
  • Christmas card in December
  • 2019 Wrap up post the end of December

Bye-Bye 2018

Well time to look back on 2018. Here are the highlights and low lights of my year.

My Word for the Year was Joy.

I tried to scatter joy everywhere I went by being kind. I am a virtual call center representative and it is challenging at times to as Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Scatter Joy” to my customers. Most days I felt as though I did a good job of being kind to them so hopefully they had at least a little more joy in their heart after speaking to me.

Most of the year I made poverty wages which means I was one of the 49% of widows who make less than $25,000.00 per year – and I mean way less than $25k. (stat courtesy of Modern Widows Club)

Then as of the end of October, I received a pay raise that put me in the 51% of widows that make more than $25k per year. Yes! I can finally make progress on getting my life together instead of just treading water.

I scaled way, way back on blogging. However, views are increasing despite my slow down. Hmmm…very interesting.

I was a member of Kelly Balarie’s book launch team for Battle Ready, train your mind to conquer challenges, defeat doubt, and live victoriously. This book is on my desk so I can reference it during lunch and breaks. The encouragement I’ve received from it has been heaven sent.

On June 19th, I quietly celebrated the 25th anniversary of when Joe and I became husband and wife with a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.

This summer I was also a member of Aaron Niequist book launch team for The Eternal Current: How a Practice-Based Faith Can Save Us From Drowning. I’ve started doing the Examen at night which helps me put the day in perspective and puts me in a good frame of mind just before I fall asleep.

My most popular post was 10 Years A Widow: Desperate Ways. (344 views, most from Facebook) Warning: This post is brutally honest. When I started this blog my goal was to provide encouraging uplifting content but I was not going to sugar-coat life or tell everyone to look at life through rose-colored glasses. I believe in sugar coating on M&M’s, and smashing those rose-colored glasses and looking at life as it really is…an adventure with lots of ups and downs that must be dealt with head-on.

Enough about 2018. It’s almost history so lets look forward to 2019. My Word of the Year and Bible Verse of the Year will be published on New Years Day.

Until then have a safe and fun New Years Eve.

Starting to Get In The Mood for Advent

I am not in the mood for Advent.

I have not read any devotionals – even Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift. I usually read that one every year.

However, this song is getting me in the mood. Wish I could take credit for finding it but that goes to Sherline of Sherline’s Whatchu Thinkin’ Blog.

I love songs that are filled with power and drama, that have ump behind them. Songs like The Lion Sleeps Tonight have no place in my playlist. It is too wishing washy and sing-songy.

So without further adieu – here is Tommee Profitt’s version of Carol of the Bells.

Happy Thanksgiving

Just a quick note to wish you and your family a happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I hope your day is overflowing with joy-filled memories.

Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks.

1 Timothy 4:4

NLT

The site has a new temporary design. It was time to renew my plan with WordPress and pay quarterly car insurance along with the regular monthly bills. The budget could not handle the expense this year.

So I am now using a free theme until I can upgrade it in a few months. Today’s photo is the one I used for the background. 

 

 

 





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