The Character Traits of Your Potential Spouse

The subject of marriage came up in a recent conversation with some friends. It got me to thinking about character traits a man should possess who may become your spouse.

These traits apply whether you are a young person getting married for the first time or are widowed and dating or thinking about dating a man who may become your second spouse.

Remember, marriage is not to be entered into lightly as it is until death do us part. Unless he hits you once either before or after you say “I do.” If he does, end the relationship immediately for a godly man will not hit you.

A Godly Man

If you want to know if your boyfriend or fiance is a godly person, watch how he treats those people under his roof. While it is important to know how he treats others, godliness starts at home.

A godly man will treat his mother, father, siblings and pets with dignity and respect if he still lives at home. He will treat anyone living under his roof with dignity and respect – including you and your children.

He will live out this verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

and this verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:19

Do not quench the Spirit.

He will encourage you and not stop the Holy Spirit’s work in your life.

His Temple

Does he take care of his body by eating right and exercising?

Does he smoke and/or drink?

Does he take care of your body? If he smokes and you have asthma, he is not taking care of you. If he drinks and drives with you as a passenger, he is not taking care of you.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19
English Standard Version
(ESV)

Jesus paid a price on the cross so your fiance or boyfriend would not have to die a grizzly death. How is he repaying Jesus for what he did? How is he glorifying God with his body?

1st Corinthians 13

Sometime ago, I read a post about how 1st Corinthians 13 (The Love Chapter) is a good way to determine if a man is someone you should date and/or marry.

Here’s Paul’s version:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1st Corinthians 13
New International Version
(NIV)

Let’s rewrite this passage and insert the name of your fiance, “Bill.”

  • Bill is patient
  • Bill is kind
  • Bill does not envy
  • Bill does not boast
  • Bill is not proud 
  • Bill does not dishonor others
  • Bill is not self-seeking
  • Bill is not easily angered
  • Bill does not keep a record of wrongs
  • Bill does not delight in evil
  • Bill rejoices with the truth
  • Bill protects all things
  • Bill always trusts
  • Bill always hopes
  • Bill always perseveres

Can you say the above characteristics apply to your fiance?

They will not apply 100% of the time as no one is perfect. However they should apply 90 percent of the time.

And remember, Bill should ask these questions and insert YOUR name into his own list.

These character traits apply to you too my dear.

Related Reading: 3 Benefits to Dating a Widow

The Only Resource for “Discovering Love Online” (Review)

Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her widowhood adventures hoping to inspire widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. A graduate of Kent State University with a Bachelor’s degree in communications, she’s currently using those skills as a virtual logistics contact center representative for a Fortune 100 company. She’s also managed call center teams, co-facilitated a grief support group, and helped small businesses with various writing assignments. Michele is a bookworm, and a lover of history, music, chocolate, red roses, and golden retrievers. She also does not think or pray like you normal people. Michele is also the amateur photographer behind the blog OgleOhio.com