I am a member of the Problogger Podcast Listener’s Facebook group. Earlier this month Darren Rowse asked what our blogging goals were for March. I posted to write a series of 10 posts of at least 400+ words.
Darren held those of us that responded accountable. I got mentioned in a post mid-month and then again today.
Well, I did not meet my goal.
I got one published – How Are You? which was based on Darren’s podcast #38. In my post I mentioned J.T. O’Donnell’s 8 Key Areas of Life and my plan was to write a post about the 8 key areas of my life (mental self, physical self, career, finances, family/friends, hobbies, physical surrounding and fun/recreation).
Well my desire to do the series went down the drain as my Mental Self took a bigger than expected hit when unemployment ran out early this month. I could feel the waves of depression pull me under. The desire to get out of bed was not there and my energy was Gone With The Wind.
When I got up, I still did my devotion (The Songs of Jesus: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Psalms/Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller ) and managed to get some household chores done but it was a struggle.
Joe’s No Help
March is also the anniversary of Joe’s passing. The anniversary normally does not effect me as much as it use too but knowing he is up there in heaven without a care in the world while I am 1-2 months away from the gutter, ticks me off.
My Plan and My Dream
My plan now that my dream is shattered is to spend most of my days pitching or selling stuff and then put the house on the market. Where I will move to when it sells, I do not know.
It has always been my dream to have a job that pays the bills so I can stay here in this house.
However, it feels like I live in a society does not want to see me thrive and prosper. Their opinion is $10 an hour is enough to live a billionaire lifestyle complete with yachts and private planes (real ones not toy ones).
Too Big or Too Small?
I sometimes think I am not dreaming big enough. Maybe God’s not honoring my dream because it’s too small. Perhaps my dream should consist of traveling the world, moving into a mansion, having my own reality show, or any number of other big ideas.
On the flip side, maybe God is not honoring my request because it is too big. Maybe he wants me in the gutter or living out of my car. It’s hard for me to fathom that God would want me down and out but it is also hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea of God creating people for hell (double predestination).
Time to Wrap It Up
This is not getting any pitching done so I better end this post and get to work. You will see posts in April but not sure how many. In May the internet and cell phone will be dead. Rest assured I am still job searching but not spending as much time doing it.
Pitching takes priority.
(word count – 556. At least I wrote one long blog post this month.)