{ Day 18 } Rommie’s Tricks for Scaring Away The Grief Monster – SIT!

For those new to JoyReturns, Rommie was my 12 year-old golden retriever who moved to heaven on July 31st of this year. Halloween was her favorite holiday as a lot of people came to see her and give her belly rubs. Oh how she loved her belly rubs!

This week’s “tricks” are ones she would recommend to help you move forward through your grief so you can get rid of the grief monster.

Howl-o-ween 2013
Howl-o-ween 2013

Scripture Meditation 

He told the crowd to sit down on the ground.

Matthew 15:35

This verse refers to Jesus telling people to sit so he can feed them with the fish and bread.

You are being called to sit not on the ground but in a chair at a grief support program. You could attend GriefShare, Iike I did, or you could attend a program at hospice or at any place else that offers a support program.

Feeds Your Soul

A support program will feed your tired, hungry and questioning soul. You will be around people who know grief’s pain and what you are going through. Unless your friends or family have been through your circumstances, they will not be able to relate. While you need to be around them, you also need to be with people who can relate to what you are feeling.

It will give you a chance to tell your story, vent your frustrations and ask your questions. The questions will mostly go unanswered as God is the one with all the answers and He is under no obligation to you to answer them. But you can ask. It helps your healing to get your feelings out.

Otherwise, you will be like a can of shaken Pepsi – you will explode someday because you pushed all your grief down inside.


Attending a grief support program does not have to be a life time commitment. The length of time will vary depending upon how long the program runs and if there are any limits on how long you can attend. GriefShare runs 13 weeks and they suggest you sit through a 13 week session twice, because you will be at a different place in your grief when you see the videos the second time. You will pick up on things you did not notice the first time


Hopefully you will make a new friend or two, which is the main reason why you need to attend. It gets you out of the house and meeting new people. There comes a time in life when making new friends is hard and making lasting friendships is even harder. You need all the help you can get when it comes to meeting people.


Plus sitting there in the group, you will learn what other people are dealing with. Once you hear their circumstances, you will be thankful for your own grief.

I’ve sat through a year of GriefShare as a participant and then 5 years as a co-facilitator. There is not one person who came through the program that I would take their grief in place of mine.

So go sit in a chair at a grief support group. You will be amazed at what you will learn, if you have the courage to sit and listen.

Quote Meditations

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Winston Churchill

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Walter Anderson
10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity.