{ Day 16 } 31 Tricks to Scare Away the Grief Monster – CHERISH

Just over the halfway mark of 31 Tricks. Whew! It is a tough series to write because the words don’t come easy.

Those of a certain age will think of the following video when reading the word “Cherish.”

I watched the video and lip synched every word.

Cherished Memories

You will cherish the memories of you and your husband in a deep heartfelt way after his passing. You will care for them with love and affection just as if you were caring for a child, because in a way they are your child.

Focus only on the good memories and forget the bad ones. It is not wise to speak or remember ill of those who are now live in heaven.

Speaking ill of the dead says more about you than it does about the dead. 

Your spouse has nothing but perfect love and joy for you. So develop perfect love and joy for your husband. Once you do this you will see a lot of steam coming out of the grief monster’s ears.

Better After Death

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s famous poem How Do I Love Thee? ends with the line

and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. 

Remembering only the good, is loving your spouse “better after death.”

And God chooses you to do this not only for your spouse but other’s living and dead as well.

Sunset Sonnet

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Poem courtesy of

10-10-2011_3by5Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She encourages widows and educates society about grief and life as a widow by sharing her widowhood adventures. A graduate of Kent State University with a degree in communications, she has used her skills in the banking, collections, outdoor products and social media industries. Michele is a bookworm, lover of golden retrievers and an amateur photographer. You can see more of photography at, where she is running the series 31 Days of Autumn in Ohio – because running a 31 Day series on one blog is not enough insanity. 
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