This post is inspired by WordPress’ Daily Post. The question yesterday was “How does life as an adult compare to what I envisioned as a child?”
While growing up, I envisioned life as an adult to be similar to my childhood. My sister and I would graduate college, find good paying jobs with plenty of opportunity for moving up the ladder, marry the perfect men, and have perfect children (probably 2 each). Even though I did not have a strong desire to become a mother, I figured once I met Mr. Perfect, my desire would change.
I saw the same for my two cousins. The four of us would get our families together for birthdays, cook-outs, and holiday dinners with the one cousin who lives out-of-state attending when his schedule permitted. When not able to come to Ohio my sister and I would take our families and go visit him and his family. Our children would grow up together and be like brothers and sisters to each other.
Those of us who live in Ohio would attend church together, the same church 5 of our ancestors founded. We would be active in the community, with possibly one cousin working at the sheet metal shop our great-grandfather founded.
But my vision did not come true.
Pop! Goes The Bubble
Well that bubble burst.
My sister went to college out-of-state, fell in love, got married, had children and still lives out-of-state.
Our cousin, who has always lived in Texas, is married and has a child. He also got laid off after 10 years with a telecommunications company and now stocks shelves. His lovely wife works and they are raising a wonderful daughter.
The other cousin has worked in a factory for 30+ years and married but got divorced. He also followed his dream to be a rock star. It did not work out but at least he followed his dream, which is more than what most people do.
As for me, I:
- graduated from Kent State with a Communications degree.
- moved to Texas.
- moved back to Ohio.
- fell in love.
- got married.
- had no human children.
- became a parent to a golden retriever.
- had careers in retail, banking and collections.
- got promoted to Team Leader (Assistant Manger) in a collections call center.
- got laid off after 13.5 years in a collections call center.
- became a widow at an age society considers young.
- started this blog.
- became a loan officer.
- had an offer to enter into a relationship with a married man in his late 60’s. (EEEWWW! Gross!)
- became a freelance writer.
- took a seasonal job in a high-volume call center.
There are items on this list I never dreamed would happen, including getting married because men my age were never interested in me. That is why I always knew I would go to college and enter the work force as the boys all ran away from me in high school.
I also never envisioned the periods of unemployment I have gone through. The toughest was the one that started in 2009, just a year after Joe’s passing.
Even though life did not turned out as expected and has been very painful at times, it has been and still is a wonderful life filled with joy.
May you feel the same way about your life, even though it may not have turned out as you envisioned.
Bio: Michele Kearns is the founder and HUG© (Hope Unites Globally) Award-Winner of JoyReturns. She shares her widowhood adventures hoping to encourage widows to move through grief and rebuild their lives. A graduate of Kent State University with a Bachelor’s degree in communications, she’s used those skills while managing call center teams, co-facilitating a grief support group, and helping small businesses with various writing and administrative assignments. Michele is a bookworm, and a lover of history, chocolate, red roses, and golden retrievers. She is also the amateur photographer behind the blog OgleOhio.com