Updated: How To Charm A Widow

(Author’s Note:  I am on a 2 week vacation to purge some frustration and restore my spirit.  In the meantime, I dusted off and breathed a little bit of new life into some older posts.)

 

 

Author’s Note: I stumbled upon a neat site called Wordtracker.com. 

After inputting the word “grief”, it gave me a list of 100 questions that people have been attempting to find answer for on the web. 

I also did the same with the word “widow.”  Boy did that search yield some interesting questions involving vibrators. 

Needless to say I have numerous topics for blog posts. 

Here is the first one:

“How To Charm A Widow”

The “charming” philosophy of “Show Up”, Tell The Truth” and “Have Fun” is borrowed from a friend.  However, the definitions of each category are my own.

“Charmed, I’m Sure”

  • Show Up – When you are in the company of a widow be attentive, really listen, be an active participant in the conversation.
  • Ask To Hear Her Story – You will learn a lot about her by discovering what she has been through. (Do not do this on the first date.)
  • Tell The Truth – Don’t hide your emotions and feelings.  There is no room for a “Cold-Hearted Snake.”
  • Have Fun – Be able to do this without the need for alcohol, vibrators, or “Wildwood Weed.”
  • Enjoy The Little Things – movie night, walks in the park, or just sitting on a porch swing talking.
  • Be Polite – open doors, saying please and thank you, and treating her with respect.
  • Be Spontaneous – Send flowers for no reason.
  • Be Romantic – Watch chick flicks together, go on picnics or dance under the stars.
  • Be Passionate About Life – Including being passionate about your work.
  • Don’t Be A Tightwad – After all you are unable to take your money with you when you die.
  • Don’t Be A Big Spender – While you are unable to take it with you, you also need to be responsible.

All of the above apply to “charming” any woman.  However, there are two other very important characteristics needed when “charming” a widow – especially this widow.

Acceptance

Accept the following:

  • I did not become a millionaire when Joe died.  If I did, I would not be job searching.
  • I will never stop loving or missing Joe.  Although I am able to move forward with my life, we were married just shy of 15 years.  I am unable to love someone that long and forget about them, acting like they never existed.  But should you die first, you will also have a forever place in my heart.
  • Besides inheriting my biological family, you inherit Joe’s family.  They will be included in special occasions and holiday celebrations.  They are still and always will be a part of my life.
  • I will be buried with Joe.  The headstone is already done.   I made a promise to his brother I would be buried with him and I will keep that promise.

If you are unable to accept these facts, then “Hit The Road Jack.”

Patience

It has been 19 ½  21 years since the last time I went on a “first” date.  While dating again sounds nice, it does freak me out a little bit.  Guess I spent too many years watching the “Law and Order” franchise, particularly “Special Victims Unit.”

I will not rush into a relationship.  I need to take it slow and steady in order to see if there is even potential for a relationship.

Once again if you are not willing to take it slow and steady “Hit The Road Jack.”

The Best Advice.

Just be yourself.  If she is not “charmed” by you being yourself, then she’s just not that into you.

Don’t force something that is not there.