Embrace The Minority

I drove over to the local diner for lunch yesterday.  While waiting for my Supreme Chicken sandwich, I worked on some blog posts.  Suddenly this thought popped into my head –

“Be In The Minority.”

I thought “Alright Jeff, I get it.”

My friend Jeff Nischwitz has a philosophy – Minority Rules.  Quit trying to a part of the majority and embrace the minority.

What The Majority Believes

Let’s look at what the majority of society believes.

1)      Stuff it – Stuff your grief feelings deep down inside. Don’t you dare cry or show any other negative emotion because it is a sign of weakness. If you are a Christian, you will not shed one tear because real Christians do not cry.

2)      Move on – Just move on with life starting the day after the funeral.  Pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move one with life.  Get back to work and dating immediately. Just smile and “Don’t worry, be happy.”

3)      Forgetaboutit or in this case foregetabouthim.  He does not exist anymore so just forget him and the 14, 35, or 50 years you were married.  Treat your husband worse than “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

4)      Widows are not worthy of any help.  Lock them in the closet and throw away the key because we are not to be neither seen nor heard.

Since this is what society believes why would I want to be in the majority?

What The Minority Believes

This is what a small segment of society believes.

1)      Don’t stuff it – Keeping negative thoughts and feelings in will eat you from the inside out.  Get your feelings out

2)      Don’t move on, move forward.  On means putting something in its place.  Forward means taking it with you.  I am moving forward with my life but I take Joe with me.  After all, I am who I am today in part because of Joe.

3)      Don’t forget about him.  I thank God for bringing Joe into my life.  I will never forget him but I will not dwell on missing him either.

4)      All widows are worthy of help. Whether it is with yard work, handy man projects or job search assistance.  We are not to be feared and shunned by society but loved and supported.

It takes guts to believe and act these statements. 


I accept being in the minority of people who have the courage to think differently from the rest of society.  Besides, I have spent my entire life being in the minority or being on the outside looking in.  I should be use to it by now.

Me and my blog will gladly continue being in the minority and work on changing society’s perception of widows.  

So what area of your life do you find yourself in the minority?  Is being there really so bad?