“You’re playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. Until you can’t move… you can’t breathe… because you’re in over your head. Like quicksand.”


Shane Falco

“The Replacements”

 That describes my grief journey.

I would be traveling along the path and all of a sudden I would fall into quicksand.  The more I struggled the deeper into the grief quicksand I sank.  There were days where I sank to the bottom as soon as I fell in.

1st Year

The first year the quicksand pits seemed to be spaced close together.  Maybe that is because in all my aimless wandering I found every quicksand pit along the path.

2nd Year

I started the second year off by falling into the pit of unemployment quicksand, from which I am still trying to extricate myself.  

The good news was the pits pertaining to grief were spaced farther apart.


Getting out of the pits requires calling out to God and/or reaching out to people.

Crying out to God also helped me get out of quicksand.  He understood my pain and anguish.  Many a time I would feel his comfort by reading my devotional books.  He also would have me fall asleep long enough for my system to reset itself.


There was many a time I would tell Mom I was struggling and she would put me on the church prayer list. I would also receive a “thinking of you” card from church members.  It was little things like that which helped me get out of quicksand and back on solid ground.


Always  lend a helping hand to any widow so she can get out of quicksand because sinking in quicksand is a scary feeling.