Being in transition requires attending networking events, job seeker groups, seminars and finding other events where you can interact with people who may be willing to help you.
Being a widow in transition requires all of the above, but I also have to figure whether or not to admit being a widow.
The reason for being unsure about admitting marital status is hearing the word widow usually causes people to run for the hills because:
- They do not know what to do nor do they want to learn what to do (see the “Just Be There” tab above)
- They believe I have cooties. Yes, I am talking about that dreaded disease from elementary school. If they hang around me too long, they will “catch” my cooties and what happened to me will happen to them.
- They feel threatened. (I find this fact sad but hysterical.) Upon becoming a widow means I am now single and therefore perceived by some couples (wives especially) as a threat to their marriage. In today’s day and age of everything you do being a reflection on your personal brand, why would I want the reputation of a marriage buster-upper? No thank you.
I have experienced all three situations either in my job search or in my personal life.
A couple of interviewers wanted to know something about me that was not on the resume. I sensed they suspected something unusual since my work as a volunteer Co-Facilitator with Griefshare is on the resume. I did come up with an answer but one that did not pertain to widowhood.
In the course of a conversation at one event, I mentioned the launch of this blog. The person wanted to know what topic was, so I explained. This person appeared flustered when I mentioned the blog’s subject matter. Have not heard from the person even though they said they would be in touch.
There have been times when I stepped out on a limb and mentioned becoming a widow prior to being in transition and people have been very kind, gracious and did not run from me. To those people – THANK YOU. Your friendship means more than you will ever know. I just wish more people were like you.