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Networking, Interviews & Widowhood

Being in transition requires attending networking events, job seeker groups, seminars and finding other events where you can interact with people who may be willing to help you.

Being a widow in transition requires all of the above, but I also have to figure whether or not to admit being a widow. 

The Reason

The reason for being unsure about admitting marital status is hearing the word widow usually causes people to run for the hills because: 

  • They do not know what to do nor do they want to learn what to do (see the “Just Be There” tab above)
  • They believe I have cooties.  Yes, I am talking about that dreaded disease from elementary school.  If they hang around me too long, they will “catch” my cooties and what happened to me will happen to them. 
  • They feel threatened.  (I find this fact sad but hysterical.) Upon becoming a widow means I am now single and therefore perceived by some couples (wives especially) as a threat to their marriage. In today’s day and age of everything you do being a reflection on your personal brand, why would I want the reputation of a marriage buster-upper?   No thank you.

I have experienced all three situations either in my job search or in my personal life.

Interviews

A couple of interviewers wanted to know something about me that was not on the resume.  I sensed they suspected something unusual since my work as a volunteer Co-Facilitator with Griefshare is on the resume.  I did come up with an answer but one that did not pertain to widowhood.  

Events

In the course of a conversation at one event, I mentioned the launch of this blog. The person wanted to know what topic was, so I explained.  This person appeared flustered when I mentioned the blog’s subject matter.  Have not heard from the person even though they said they would be in touch.

Thank You

There have been times when I stepped out on a limb and mentioned becoming a widow prior to being in transition and people have been very kind, gracious and did not run from me.   To those people – THANK YOU.   Your friendship means more than you will ever know.  I just wish more people were like you.

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